Have you ever struggled with being in control? You want it, need it and seem powerless to exhibit positive influence. We all struggle with being in control of our lives.
The past is history. The future is uncertain. The present is topsy-turvy.
If you have to wonder how you lost control, then the flip thought is valid: Did you ever have control to begin with? Sometimes control is a terrible weapon to have in the hands of someone not prepared to face life! But losing control and understanding why we lost it is the key to understanding if we should have control!
Knowing why we are here is just as important as knowing if you “want” to take control.
How do you Take Charge?
This is a crucial question. It’s a tough position you find yourself in when you cannot wrestle away the control from others. Consider this. Your past (how you are seen), your future (where others think you’re going), and your present (how Others choose whether to let you have control) – when you “let” them be in control, you are subject to their whimsical view of life.
Consider bad habits, poor dietary choices, and a lousy version of friends. They all exhibit control over you. How? You abdicate your authority to be in charge when you give yourself over to others. It’s difficult to wrestle it back, many times nigh impossible. But you can do it!
Here are some thoughts about regaining control.
Evaluate
Understanding your position and your response is probably the most critical item to focus on. One songwriter started off his medley of words by saying, “Why me Lord…” and we pick up the refrain, finishing the words with our own lament.
Why. Me.
Perhaps you’ve looked at yourself and thought it was all about what others did to you. Rather, I want to change my perspective and say, “No matter what others say or do, I am still my own person. They cannot take me away from me.”
John Milton said, “He who reigns within himself, and rules passions, desires, and fears, is more than a king.” In other words, no matter what others say or do, you are more than a king when you control yourself!
I’ve been in situations when others tried to control how I respond. What? Do people do this? Sure. Many want to see how much control they have over you by pushing your buttons! When you give in, then they know they’ve won! You’re theirs!
Being in control is not just stepping back from how others try to handle me, but it’s also in how I choose to respond. I can control my visible temper, although I rage within. My words can be measured, even if they are pounding to get out of my brain. That fist? It doesn’t have to be clinched.
It’s difficult. But practice makes perfect!
Be In Control
You must practice being in control. At all times. There are times and places you can unload your frustrations, but choose the moment and the time.
Wrestling For Control: You must practice being in Control. At all times. There’s no better way of maintaining control than “being” in control of self. Click To TweetHere’s an example. Consider your words. They have power. From the misspoken to the purposeful. Learning to be in control of your words shows you have exercised control of your mind that produces the thoughts behind those words!
The wise man, Solomon, said it like this:
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
and those who love it will eat its fruits.”
Proverbs 18:21 (ESV)
You will dine on the results that you spend with your life abusing your power. Exercise it by ruling over others through your words, and then your reward will be what is given. But learning how to control your words to produce life and not death is the better place to be!
From Testament to Testament
In the New Testament, James penned his thought like this:
“Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.
Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing.
My brethren, these things ought not so to be.
Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?
Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs?
so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.”
James 3:4-12 (KJV)
Here’s My Thought Today
I refuse to be controlled by others. Especially when I allow my thoughts to become words or actions that show their power over me. Holding it in, working on changing my thinking process, and proving I’m in control is the best example I can live.
Solomon also had good thoughts about the power of our words.
“A gentle tongue is a tree of life,
but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”
Proverbs 15:4 (ESV)
I want to have a gentle speech that produces life. That’s where my control is best used. I cannot change others, but I can be in control of myself. That’s the picture of “me” wrestling control from “you.”