Healthy respect. That’s what I call getting to know wild creatures. You don’t know their habits or personalities, and you don’t know what kind of day they have had. So. Give them distance. Maybe a country mile or two! Getting too close? Well, it’s not exactly what it’s all cracked up to be!
The same is true about someone else’s pets. They know them. You don’t. Take your time getting close, and give them time to get used to you! My grandad had a pet raccoon… We were never allowed to get close! I know someone with a pet bobcat… Yikes!
It’s Not Just About Animals!
Equally, the same is true about humans.
Early this morning, I woke thinking about a particular personality. A leader. Someone who has learned to keep people at arms length. Why? It’s difficult letting someone in too close, and them worming their way into your secrets and personality, and then never being able to pull back.
That’s probably why I’ll never be a highfalutin personality! I love to get close and get to know people. God gave me a good “forgetter,” so I disremember details and have long learned that sharing is not caring.
I’ve watched people who are so close it’s hard to tell where the line of separation might exist. Someone preens, “I know something you don’t know! You’ll never guess! Oh, well, I’m on the inside. You’re not. So, there!”
All around me, I’m surrounded by people who have been hurt in their past by allowing someone too close—stiff-arming everyone to arm’s length. Don’t invade their space! They cannot share much because they are protecting what they know and who they are. It isn’t easy being my personality with some who cannot share. I don’t need to know anything, but I’m also not judging or critical of the choices you make. That’s the Job of God! No Iron Sharpening with intentionality. Just friendship.
I Have Few Close Friends
If I have few close friends, and I have fewer than you would think, then I can only imagine what it must be like to be popular and holding the clamoring crowd back with a stick! When I walk into a crowd, I’m able to chat with anyone, everyone. But I am most content to find someone who has no one, and spend time getting to know who they are. You know where I find them? On the back wall. Just standing there, with a “deer in headlight” look, they are quiet and showing their discomfort. I am most comfortable getting to know them, and from that place in life, I find many nuggets of friendships.
Many years ago, my bride and I started something we called “Friends of Fellowship.” With a core group of ready participants, we would look for people who would slip in late and out early; or someone who no one talked to. With a purpose to include them, we would band together to help be their friends in a moment of fellowship.
I learned a long time ago what it’s like to be new or lost in the crowd, and no one is interested in anything I have to offer. I’m not them, don’t come from a lineage they can connect with, and since I have “nothing,” they have “no interest.” Okay, I’m okay with that. Their loss. My gain. There are many of us just like me, and we’re quietly building a network of fellowship that does not require the big “I’s” and little “you’s”…
Think About Jesus
Jesus began his ministry out of the limelight. Without big named support staff or friends in high places, he slipped into the right moment at the right time. Paul calls it the “fullness of time.” (Galatians 4:4-5) He faces his greatest beginning challenge when he faced himself in the wilderness, and then Satan at the culmination of the trial. (Matthew 4:1-11) He’s baptized by the forerunner, John. Then he begins building his inner circle, (Peter, James, John), and his followers (disciples). With a healthy number (12), he begins turning the world upside down!
People followed him at a distance. When they closed in, they wanted something. Imagine the clamoring crowd trying to get past the Twelve Disciples. Fishermen, tax collectors, men who knew how to handle life with a roughening hand. Still, they swarmed.
But when he faced his final challenge, the crowds dissipated. It’s finally the close inner circle, standing around the cross, no longer afraid of what could happen to them.
When The End Is Near
When all is said and done, those who are there with you, in the end, are the true measure of friends that gave you strength throughout your life. True iron. Who will you have to call on when you need your greatest support? Fairweather personalities? Perhaps the “hanger on’s” will still be there. But who will you trust?
Here’s a key for this thought today. Do not be afraid to allow someone the opportunity to get in close, just make sure they are the kind of “friend” that you can depend on for the rest of your life. If they are not? Then they are simply acquaintances. And we all have many of them. Even when standing at the back wall.
When you get too close, you learn too much. The only way to be close is to handle what you learn. Being close = respecting, not sharing, judging or learning to hate. Insider knowledge should be kept inside. Most don’t want close… Click To Tweet