Life is often gauged by the age you are, and certain events happen at that age. Sometimes those events are titled…the terrible two’s, awkward teenage years, sweet 16, old enough to vote and go to war, time to get married, aren’t you having kids yet? Finally, you start recognizing the gray hair, slower gait, reading glasses, and, gasp! Hearing Aids? Well. No hearing aids for me…I’d just as soon enjoy the quietness!)
Along with the milestone laden path, you reach certain ages where you start expecting certain events. You may not want them, but they come. In my single-digit years, I lost my great-grandparents, and then somewhere in those teen years, aunts and uncles started passing on. In my twenties, and forward through 1999, I lost hundreds of relatives that included those very close to me. Grandparents. All four of them. Since the new century, the numbers have not dimisihed. Our large family is trimming ranks from that older crowd.
I pause to remember them all this morning.
This is simply an age of life we reach when we start losing more and more, until, it seems, the numbers diminish and it starts hitting closer to home. A sibling. (Teresa, 09/23/19) A parent. (Dad, 01/16/20)
Suddenly, you are recognizing your own mortality.
Maybe it’s just me, but I suddenly feel ancient. Old before my time. In just 23 years I will be as old as my dad when he passed. My sister will never catch up to me. Two remaining brothers, and mom. Our lives irrevocably changed.
However, change is not over with us yet.
Family Reunions
I remember in years past how we would get the families together and celebrate being around each other. Family Reunions. An all-day affair down Walters Loop and on the shores of Munson Lake. All family names. Hundreds in attendance. Or, at Diane’s house on Lake Livingston where we battled Wasp! And, I reconnected with a high school friend purely by accident. Ace Kids Reunion annual meeting to remember the years of childhood growing up in Ace, Texas.
And then we relocated far away, and those events have slowly faded because we’ve lost so many. Future generations may not remember a hot Saturday afternoon around the banks of a pond or lake, reconnecting with those whose birth dates back into the late 1800s or early 1900s…but I do. Maybe a kid did not enjoy it as much as he should have, but with these aging eyes I look back and say, “My…what a grand ol’ time!”
Parents try to force memories of life into their kids. But this is one memory I recall with delight. Reunions are not always enjoyable, but they do reconnect through the years and across the miles of life. They are necessary.
Reunions may not be enjoyable, but they do reconnect us through the years and across the miles of life. Enjoy them. Remember them. Participate! Some day it may be too late to enjoy. Click To TweetMemories
It’s been difficult getting good memories grounded and subsequently shared. With my sister, I remember that I went to every place she lived outside of Texas except for one – Nuiqsut, Alaska. I have been to Albuquerque, Farmington, Afognak, Dutch Harbor. In her retirement, I flew to Austin and spent time with her in Bastrop, then we went to an Astros game. But the place she’s gone to now can not be found in my litany, but it will be my home someday.
With dad, I think he took me to every place he had ever remembered living, all the while singing a song. That was his style. We learned late in life that he was shy when dating my mom and could hardly talk about his feelings. But. He could sing them and sing he did. Dad taught me to drive, at first sitting in his lap steering and learning the 3-on-the-tree mode of shifting gears. I remember growing weary of not being in control, but my legs weren’t quite long enough! Equally, he taught me how to aim and shoot his .22 rifle which he gave to me 20+ years ago. He could not teach me to sing. It came so naturally to him, and my hearing was so off that I struggled with finding notes, keys, and forget about rhythm or beat…
I”ve written about him and mom so many times… Maybe you remember this one? Click Here – My Dad When I Was Young.
Saturday Song
Today. One year ago Dad passed just hours after I made it to Houston. My last conversation with him was one-sided. I’m not even sure he knew I was there, except, I like to think he waited for me to say my final farewell. [Georege Ray Gurley]
Thinking about this day for weeks, I wished the global events were not so tragically keeping us isolated. I wish I could simply be with family on this reunion day in Livingston, Texas, standing around the graveside and remembering his life. Sharing with my brothers and mom. Tears. Laughter. Memory making moments.
At his memorial service, we reminded everyone of his love for song. Growing up he seldom had a piano in the background, so he simply learned to sing acapella. Whenever he went anywhere…he always had a song or two in mind. He would smile and pull the song sheet out of his pocket and simply sing. All you had to do was ask him.
Please…enjoy with me my dad singing I’d Rather Have Jesus… He’s enjoying that presence faster than we ever wished.