An Imperfect Love

In the world of humanity, I’m sure, there is no such thing as “Perfect Love”. Within every segment of the phenomenon we call Love, there are imperfections. The nagging thought that questions your commitment, even though you would never dream of abandoning that special person. Or, that moment of anger when that thin line between love and hate is nearly crossed.

This has been part of my thinking process for a long time. When someone says a relationship is a 50/50 proposal, I say “No Way!” I’m in this connection 110% and will never think less of the other who cannot give equally! Your family, friend, or special loved one may be going through a personal trial. It takes time to process and ramp up to equal your commitment. This doesn’t bring my love down to their level, rather, it makes me give even more until they are renewed.

A few years ago, Lysa TerKeurst showed up on my radar. She went through a devastating relationship issue, but from what I’ve watched from afar, she has rebounded and renewed.

These are her words from last year.

lysaterkeurst Testimony (From Instagram 12/27/18)

Many people have asked why I stayed and fought for my marriage. The answer to that is as complicated and intricate as trying to understand what makes a massive ocean pull back and stop at the shore.

Apart from God, who can ever truly understand a thing like that?

There was a season that it wasn’t reasonable or responsible to stay. Just like when the ocean doesn’t respect the boundary of the shoreline and hurricane conditions force evacuations. So there were long stretches of silence, separation, and seeking wise counsel.

But then the shoreline became safe again. And I had a choice. I was offered a second chance at moments like this one.

Simple moments that make complex situations less complex.

Forgiveness is a process. Healing is a long journey. And I’ll never ever criticize another person for choices they made that were different than mine when placed in the same horror and heartbreak as me. Or maybe they had no choice at all. I have nothing but tender love and understanding. It’s a brutal walk.

So why did I stay? I was given that chance. I love Art.

And I’ve discovered imperfect love is still full of sacred possibilities, redemptive strength, it’s own kind of purity, and moments like the one pictured here.

Life Is A Process

She says it here, and I’ve been expressing this more and more during this past year. I think I’ve always known it, but until it’s put into words that I can associate with, then it’s like it was an unknown part of my mind.

Life is a process. All the intricacies of life weave in and out of our emotions, spirit, mind and body – all a process that simply takes time.

Recovery and renewal take time. Ask anyone who’s been through tragedy and they will tell you, Take Your Time!

Processing information takes time! Ask anyone who has felt dumped on, and as it is when swimming in “chunky” waters, it takes time to move the gunk out of the way.

Feeling blindsided, trapped, or unloved… They all take time to process! Dealing with rejection, death, divorce… Yep. They all take time!

Why? Often it’s as simple as how we perceive the moment. My perception may get fooled, and the place I’ve been involved from may not have been perfect, hence, dealing with the negative takes time to process.

For years of writing, I’ve used three #HashTags for most of my posts. If I remember to do it, that is! #Thimk #Perception #Algorithm

HashTags

Thimk – It was on the IBM 370/135 mainframe. The label said “Think” – IBM’s main word for decades. But someone had overlaid the letters with “Thimk” from Mad Magazine. I did not catch it for a while until it looked funny enough to cause me to pause. Think it through. Catch the error! THIMK looked so much like THINK, unless you thunk it through!

Perception – “We see as we are.” This is the lens we shade life with. From our own perspective, and not yours. Sometimes it’s foggy, filthy and full of emotions, upside down, and heading backwards at a breakneck speed! Everything we perceive comes from who we are, and not what others think.

Algorithm – Never a fond student of math, I learned many years ago that everything we do follows an algorithm (formula, process, rules) to lead to success. From recipes to complex science and math, there are known facts that define how things react, and in only a certain order can they be mixed.

These three #HashTags are my go to words for life. Perception is unique to me, even when lined up to God’s word, or man’s law. Thimk is something I’m willing to do with everything! Algorithm simply says I need to discover the process from here to there, even if it means following an imperfect path (Your Path!).

All three speak to me through every thought.

Spiritual Thought

This morning, my thought process revolved around the one main disciple of Jesus that would lead the church age forward. Peter. I isolated his name in scripture and thought about the steps that would lead him from who he was, to who we see him as later in life.

• He’s called to be a fisher of men. (Matthew 4:18)
• Jesus heals his mother-in-law and this is the first personal healing we find between Jesus and his called disciples. (Matthew 8:14)
• He asks to “walk on water” to Jesus in the midst of a storm. (Matthew 14:28)
• Peter declares Jesus to be the “Christ” and takes on a leadership role. Jesus gives him his new name! (Matthew 16:16-18)
• He stands up to Jesus, maybe from his newly inherited position, and rebukes Jesus when learning about the future. (Matthew 16:22-23)
• He follows Jesus, along with James and John, to the Mt Transfiguration. (Matthew 17:4)
• The next few chapters Peter is trying to learn more about Jesus from his teachings. Remember, they only had about 3 years of training.
• Peter declares his undying loyalty in Gethsemane, but ends up fleeing when Jesus is arrested. Then, Peter follows the trial from afar. Even denying that he was a follower. (Matthew 26)
• And then, Peter remembers the words of Jesus. Before the morning dawns, you will deny me three times, and he goes out and weeps bitterly. (Matthew 26:75)

If we left Peter here, then we would only see him as an abject failure. His rise from unknown, to known, would be seen as a fluke as he flees into the darkness.

Jesus Speaks to Peter

Throughout the references above, we find Jesus continually speaking to Peter about his choices. Two stand out above all others.

First

““Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” Peter said to him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.” Jesus said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me.””  Luke 22:31-34 (ESV)

Did you catch that middle phrase? “When you have turned again…” You will fail, falter and weep. You will deny me and flee into the darkness. However, when you have “turned again”… Strengthen your brothers. In other words, you will rebound and when you do, your job is to strengthen others.

Life is replete with failures, so, process them, recover and renew, then rebound back with determination.

Second

Jesus has been entombed. The sabbath is over, and the women return to the tomb to finish the job of burial. And to weep. But they find Jesus has risen, and a young man is there. He speaks to them a remarkable thought. Jesus has risen!

“But go your way, tell his disciples and Peter that he goeth before you into Galilee: there shall ye see him, as he said unto you.”  
Mark 16:7 (KJV)

Notice the directive specifically denotes Peter in the equation. When the disciples arrive in Galilee (not a quick journey), Peter’s focus is on fishing. Why? That’s his prior life. It’s what he knew. He reverts back to his foundation before Jesus entered his life.

From the boat, after a night of fishing, and with nothing to show for their efforts, a voice from the shoreline tells them to fish from the “other side”. Immediately, their take his bigger than they could imagine after a night of nothing! Peter recognizes the event! He casts himself into the sea and makes his way to shore. (John 21). When the others arrive, the coals are ready and fish are already cooking, and Peter helps them draw the net to the shore.

As they were dining, Jesus begins a discourse with Peter.

Do You Love Me?

I’ve written and taught about this for decades. Do You Love Me? Peter responds with a different word for Love. Through the questioning period he never shares with the same word Jesus is asking of him. Jesus asks for “agape” love, Peter only gives “phileo” love. Godly love versus brotherly love.

The key thought? Jesus responds the last time with “phileo” love. He came down to Peter’s level.

Why? Perspective. Algorithm. Thimk.

Until we reach up to His level, He’s willing to come to our level. This is Imperfect Love. We cannot love like him, until we experience him like us.

From our level, He’s able to draw us to His level.

He became like us, so we could become like him. His love equaled our love, so we could eventually become “love” like him.

Perhaps, if you cannot grasp this from these words I write, this song may help you grasp His perfect love becoming imperfect as mine, so I can love perfectly like him.