Life is replete with learning opportunities. If you take advantage of them, you learn what works, what doesn’t, and how to address the opportunity to make the next time a better result. Some lessons are hard to grapple with. They are “in your face” moments where you deal with realities. Other times, it’s that wispy thought that flits and flutters on the edges of consciousness. Regardless of how they arrive, if they settle in, we can learn valuable lessons from them.
I’ve called these “will-of-the-wisp” thoughts a FlyBy.
They are an integral part of awareness and learning.
There’s something about background thoughts that whisper to you the truth. If you can capture them. Once snared, how do you entertain them, investigate the possibilities, and make them a piece of your foundation?
We Learn From Testing
Politicians know how to “float a trial balloon” and test the waters of an idea or direction. Often, they are looking for a better understanding of what the public may be thinking. Or how they will react.
During the Y2K, we tested system repairs with “future date testing” scenarios to ensure results were accurate. We compared tested results to known results. We knew what the results should be. Did they match? Success! No? Rework and retest…
Think about “test pilots” putting a plane through its paces. Safe? Sometimes a tragic lesson is learned. Other times a successful landing is a result. Regardless, lessons are learned!
Manufacturers always test their products and look for failures before delivering them into the consumer’s hands. At the age of 20, I watched with amazement when large bore pipes were pressure tested to ensure that welds would hold. When they didn’t, a tremendous blast of water covered the equipment. With a possibility of never being used in production, each 30-inch pipe was tested. Better to fail in a test than to be a disappointment when in production.
Results were part of lessons learned for better products.
Think About It… Before You Speak
If we could test our words and thoughts before they ever made it into the public arena, would we not have a better handle on the results? Probably. It depends on you.
For example, this thought popped on my horizon recently. I’ve spoken it aloud, with only myself to hear. Written and rewritten. Finally, it seems to say what I think my thought was, and I’m prepared to share it outward.
It is easy to get offended, even if your heart/mind is buttoned up.
There’s something about getting the wrong vibe at the wrong moment,
and your guard goes up.
You react.
Ready! Fire! Aim!
Uh, wait. Wrong order! Oh, well. Too late.
You cannot undo what you’ve done. #Flybys
This is good for me. But not necessarily for you. We are each different.
Consider a situation when you have no time to think it through! This happens all the time. Politicians speak “off the cuff” and reply to Q&A sessions. Some are good at it; many are not.
As we speak, our mind runs rapidly through phrases, words, and tone. If we’ve not practiced hearing the question, then who knows what our words will say? Or how they will be received? When the situation is tense, it often becomes personal. It isn’t easy to step back, pause, think it through, and then speak. Speaking from what we know or feel may not be exactly what needs to be uttered. Once spoken, it’s over with. No amount of backtracking, restating, or wishing you had more time… Nothing works!
When in Doubt?
Doubt can be our worst enemy. “Am I right? Dare I speak? What if they make fun of me? What if I’m wrong????”
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.”
(Some say from Mark Twain, Confucius, or even Abraham Lincoln)
There is an even older writing that states the same sentiment.
Even a fool, when he is silent, is counted wise,
and he who shuts his lips is counted as a man of understanding.
(Proverbs 17:28 MKJV)
For the sake of learning, it’s easier to remain silent, ask time appropriate questions, process the knowledge and then be prepared to participate.
Ninth-grade biology. New teacher, also a basketball coach. Same ol’ learners. When teaching about human anatomy, with very appropriate charts at the front, a jock asks, “Duh, coach? Which is which?” Sometimes, patience and self-study provide the answer. Eventually.
Practice Makes Perfect? It Depends.
If I’ve learned anything, I’m not always the best judge of my own thoughts or verbal communication. You need to try out your perspective with a willing audience and test how others perceive it. A friend may agree, but a stranger could give you a different take. It’s your job to find someone who will give you a good assessment. The same author of Proverbs describes the value of someone who will help sharpen your approach to what you think, speak, or want to communicate.
You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another.
(Proverbs 27:17 MSG)
As the speaker, consider how others receive your thoughts and words. Walking a mile in their shoes will give you the insight you may not have enjoyed before sharing. Yet, it would be best if you also considered your own outlook and what made this thought valuable to yourself.
“Everything I describe took place while I was watching it, but I do not believe that honest observation is enough. The emotions and behavior of the watcher are also facts, and they must be truthfully recorded.”
~J.A. Baker, The Peregrine
Hone Your Thoughts, Keep Improving
Let’s suppose you want to be a great golfer. What do you do? Hire a coach to teach and mold your swings. Buy quality equipment. Practice. Practice. What did I say? Practice! For a Tiger Woods approach, well, do you have the stamina?
“Woods would begin his day at 6 a.m with the first of two daily workouts, and at 9 a.m. Woods and Haney would hit the range for a two-hour session on full swings and short game. At 11, they’d play nine holes in Woods’ modified cart, which could reach almost 30 miles per hour. After lunch, they’d spend two more hours at the range, play another nine, then finish the day at the course with at least an hour at the practice green. Woods would return home at 6 p.m. and do his second workout before heading to dinner at 7:30.” [Source]
If athletes hone their craft, shouldn’t we be just as focused on practicing? Every sport has a general age and skill limit. As you age, your improvement may suggest you move from the big leagues to the senior leagues!
This just came to me, but you’ve probably heard it before. What about doctors? Well, they always “practice medicine!”
Apply To Words
Words. Thoughts. Position. Perspective!
Our words are powerful, and our thoughts are dynamic. We are always learning. Vocabulary is always improving. Experiences are broadened.
Several times, Tiger changed coaches. At varying seasons of life or skill, he found he needed a new or different approach. It was still the same ol’ game, but his position in life and his ability to play the game changed.
As I age, I see life from a differing perspective. My experiences are broader, my vocabulary stronger, and my foundation is secure. What I could once do, or defend, may now require more effort. I employ new learning tools, coaches, mentors and keep building my presence. My stance never changes from the foundation provided through generations of life. I was a Christian back then and am still guided by the framework of a belief system that is God Based. I have always classified myself as a Conservative in government and Christian Values. God does not change. Nor do I. (Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 13:8)
Before I step into the deep end of life, my training included a wading pool, shallow end, middle, and finally swimming with the adults! I’ve swum in the “deep”!
FlyBys Are Part of Learning – Before I step into the deep end of life, my training included a wading pool, shallow end, middle, and finally swimming with the adults! I've swum in the "deep"! Click To TweetWash. Rinse. Repeat.
Growth is unique to each individual. Of course, for some, learning happens quicker than others! For those who are slower learners, don’t give up!
Equally, sharing our lessons with others are difficult when no one cares.
In the early ’60s, after a single year of taking swimming lessons, I was suddenly asked to teach the incoming students. Since we swam like otters, and I was the oldest, it only made sense that those who can teach those who are learning.
“To teach is to learn twice.”
~Joseph Joubert
Could it be this is where we miss much of our growth? We are not teaching, or if we are, no one takes us seriously. Perhaps we struggle with our identity. Shouldn’t we acknowledge what we know, don’t know, and how best to grow, and then how best to share.
Where Does True Growth Come From?
Growth happens better when we share. If what we know is kept inside, our influence is minimized. When we finally take advantage of what we’ve learned, it’s given to the masses on social platforms. Our message is muddled, easily misunderstood, feelings get hurt, we feel rejected, and we shut down.
We must be bigger than the naysayers and muddled thinkers. Our message is tempered in the fires of rejection. Dross falls away from the hotter flame. Clarity is sharpened on the whetstone of perfecting our voice. Regardless of how badly you are received, don’t quit! Some will get it. Others won’t.
Continually improving ourselves will enhance our groomed inside voice. Practice our approach, and we will gain trust, within ourselves, and others. (Wash. Rinse. Repeat.)
Here’s My Thought
There are times when flyby thoughts are worthy of my attention. Sometimes they’re not. Until you dabble with it, you may never know whether there’s a nugget waiting to be revealed. Flybys can take root, even when they are not wholesome or productive. We must be responsible for the thoughts that come our way.
David writes a message to God. It’s heartfelt. Necessary.
Search me, O God, and know my heart:
try me, and know my thoughts:
And see if there be any wicked way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
(Psalms 139:23-24 KJV)
Grab that thought. Please test it out inside. Keep it as a nugget if it’s rich. Toss it if it’s wicked. Try out the words in private. Speak them only to a trusted friend or advisor. When you finally get it right, then share it with others. Keeping it to yourself may be the sign of someone who is not yet ready to grow.
Here’s one that I’ve shared often. It has been a framework of my foundation for years.
Thimk and Do (Click to Read my thought on Thimk!)
This was a long one but well worth the read. I shared it with my son in the UAE.
It was long, but shorter than I planned on…