As I age, yes, I’m a little bit over 60 and getting really close to 65, I can tell you that I’ve learned a lot about me and my life during the past few weeks. There is no time like the present to get a picture of how you manage yourself. Your world. Your life.
Though I’m home for the first time in several weeks, today is not a slow down day to relax, recoup and recover. Rather, it’s time to pull loose ends together of tasks left undone, and fill my calendar with things that need to be focused on, and, to ensure there are no loose ends.
Last night, we unpacked our dirty clothes, greeted our animals and assured them we were home. Then we checked through the mail, washed away the grime, and crawled into our normal routine of life at home. But life has not been normal. I’m not sure what normal will look like ever again.
So. I must manage myself to the new reality.
How Do You Manage Yourself
Since we are living in an age where tools are ever present to help guide us, we are not scrambling with choices. Rather, I’m looking at my world and asking, “What’s most important?”.This is really critical. Priorities push to the head of the line and say, “Me next!”. It never goes away. I’ve been up for a couple of hours and already I’m handling demands on my time, planning for the future, and taking note of what must be handled. Today!
How do you manage yourself? Take control of your time, parse it out to needs, and follow your plan. When I was learning to fly, my instructor taught me this mantra:
Plan your flight, fly your plan.
This critical document would allow search and rescue to follow my path were it needed. Equally, it kept me focused on the next steps to get me through my cross-country trip. But if you think about it like I do, this process put me on notice to know what to do, plan for weather events, and how to react during an emergency.
There are always emergencies. I experienced one on 9/23/19. About 39,000 feet in the air, traveling nearly 500 mph, between Portland and Denver.
Though my world was shaken, and since I cannot still fathom the loss, I’ve had to be in control for these 16 days. Life at home in Washington, and in Texas, required my attention. There was no time to ostrich myself into mourning only. Calls. Social messages. Writing. Responses. Scheduling. Meeting. Listening. Talking. Doing.
Here’s my Thought Today
The Boy Scouts always taught us to “Be Prepared”. The US Army had a motto, “Be All You Can Be” that rings true to my mind, but they updated it to “Army Strong” to show you are never in this alone. Think about it. You are never in this alone! You have a team that surrounds you in your moment of struggle and steps into the breach and completes the mission.
I would not have made it the past few weeks without this “team” I’m part of. My church, family, friends, strangers, and Bride. This community of people I’ve joined that helps me process the moment and give myself space to react. My people.
Do you have your own “people”? It’s a sad situation when you are that “army of one” and you feel like you need no one else. Perhaps you think your are good at managing yourself, by yourself, but trust me, the time will come when you want someone standing with you as you face your struggles of life.
Loneliness is my least favorite thing about life. The thing that I’m most worried about is just being alone without anybody to care for or someone who will care for me. ~Anne Hathaway
Notice her thought. It’s a two-way street.
“Being alone without anybody to care for,
or have someone who will care for me.”
If I’ve learned anything through my life it’s this. You are not in this alone. When you try to keep others out, you are really forcing them away from your needs that you do not yet see. Why? Your struggles have not yet showed up. Trust me. They will. You will be all alone.
When Tragedy Strikes
The closest thing to fear struck me on 9/23. In an instant my sister is taken from our bosom. Someone drove nearly 60 mph through a stop sign and broadside her car. She had no time to react. Gone. Instantly. No warning. Then we jump into Crisis mode. Manage and do. That’s what it’s been like for me the past few weeks. My grieving time has not yet showed up, and it may never really be there like others. I’m built differently, and I understand me pretty doggone well.
As the aftermath slowed down I went back to my contacts in my broadened world, and realized how un-alone I was during this time. From those closest to me, to those I’ve never met, my sister was an integral part of so many people. On the phone, I’ve had grown men weeping at the loss. Across the social construct, from all over the globe, lives have posted their deepest sympathy and personal feelings of loss. Students. Family. Friends. Co-workers. It’s unbelievable. Her passing. Their feelings.
Going through my sisters life, we have found how she always reached out to communicate in unsuspecting ways. The letters I wrote her from Galena Park, Channelview, and even our first address on Boniface in Anchorage back in 1981 – they are back in my possession. She kept them!
Teresa had letters from her brothers, all of us, that she kept. Vaughn. Ken. I imagine they were treats she never considered for that time after she was gone. I’ve read mine and now can weep. She cared so much for me. I was “her people.”
Add another closer example of her thoughtfulness to real time. Yesterday, mom was looking for something to write on and the very next page of the sticky note was a message from Teresa to mom: “I was here!” On the outside edge of the pad of notes, “Dad beat us at Wahoo.”
This is what I’m talking about! Manage your life to leave an impression! A legacy!
Here’s my closing thought
What you say and do is important. How you manage your time is an example of how you control your life. Even when tenuous, your connection to others show how much you care and love people. Even the unloveable. What you think of others and share forward, even after you’re gone? That speaks volumes of how much you care for others.
Teresa managed her life in a unique way. I’ll never understand all her thoughts and actions, but it does teach me something. Managing my life is not only about doing and accomplishing, it’s really more about the impact you have on others…and the impact you allow others to have on you.