My bride and I were sharing something the other day, and it came to mind that when she or I are gone, these 50+ years of building up memories together will be gone. We know the same source of our interest, recite the same lyrics, sing many of the same two lines, and are not sure how the remainder goes…
Get the picture?
It’s great to grow up and grow old with your best friend. Friends I grew up with are often different than friends I grow old with.
We have a dear friend in another state that my bride worked with back in the early days of our marriage. Through the years, we’ve stayed in touch, and most likely, it’s me or the kids who do all the connecting. Add to that thought, I’ve family I’ve known easily as long as I’ve been breathing. Give us a few moments to refresh the years, and it’s possible we’ll chat as if we’ve not been apart.
As noted by many, the older you get, the lonelier you become. Think about it. Those long and often annual connections are dropping off the scenes. They travel less or not at all. Sickness makes it more difficult to connect. Costs keep rising, and your fixed budget does not travel on a whim.
What’s my plan?
Simple. Make memories while you can; when you’re old, you can live through those memories repeatedly as if they are current.
I’m not into journaling, but I love to blog. When I read what I wrote ten years ago, I’m reliving the thoughts and the memories I shared. Anyone with internet access can read what I write. There’s nothing hidden and no secrets I’ll worry about you knowing.
Someone on a sports radio program I happened upon shared how he journals every day the memories and activities of that day, so he can relive it later.
I think about those who recorded what we call history. They chronicle their insights, experiences, and research. Then, they rewrite them for publication. John McPhee did a wonderful series of experiential events about his experiences in Alaska. I’ve read it a dozen times, and each time, it’s a wonderful retelling of a place I love. From his position, he tells the story, and from my position and experiences, I absorb the stories.
That’s true journaling!
Back to growing old…
Our memories are not always equal to each other. We store what we remember, and when we recall, we do it from a different place and time. It’s easy to change the memories with new details. Sometimes they are right, and sometimes they are not. I’m just saying that we all modify our memories and then save them with the changed details for future recall.
I’m so glad the World Wide Web did not exist in our early years. I’m thankful camera technology made you take pictures slowly because the cost of processing the film into pictures was long and sometimes expensive. Why am I glad? I depend more on my memories, what I saw and witnessed, and then the recording of the event in my brain.
It was 1978. My son would be born, and we went to Ellington Air Force Base to see the piggy-backed Space Shuttle on its cross-country return to its resting place. Back then, if my memory serves, they were still testing the Shuttle without an engine. It would ride on the back of the 747 to a testing place, then be released from the plane high in the air, and then coast to a landing place miles away. We hiked a few miles down the highway and onto the airbase to get within 200 feet of the Shuttle, being surrounded by gawkers and a small security force. It was hot. She was very pregnant. We were so tired at the end of the experience. It was one of our best outings.
Now. Ask her about her memories, and she’ll tell you things I’ve never considered. Put the two stories together, and they may not jive because we haven’t remembered them “together” in a long time.
But, experience them together many decades back? Yep. When one of us is gone, the other will be left with solo memories.
And that’s why it’s a good thing to grow up together, and grow old together.