For a long time, I’ve been a proponent of talking to people and listening as their life stories unfold. It’s how you get to know strangers, and it’s how you break the ice to get to know someone. Anyone. Someone you know, or even a stranger.
Most often, I ask:
“Where you from originally?”
This can be a sensitive question, especially if you ask at the wrong time. Not everyone thinks you are innocent when you ask questions, but I’ve never had anyone get riled up with the asking. Maybe it’s my demeanor? My slow drawl? My low and slow cadence of curiosity? I like to think it’s my interest in people, and the only way you get to know someone is to get the conversation flowing.
At other times, if it’s just to catch someone off guard, I’ll ask, “It’s Friday, right?” In the work world, we are always looking for a Friday. The start of a weekend, payday, or something different to look forward to.
Last Monday was the latest opportunity to spend time sitting in a room while waiting for an appointment. Everyone is buried behind their phones or reading material, so I pulled out a picture from a favored blog showing me in hunting attire in front of a log cabin in the wilds of Alaska. It’s a quick read. Click here if you want to check it out.
Immediately, a gentleman a dozen years older than I started talking about his Alaska experiences. His family had been in the frozen north for 100 years! He spent some young time growing up close to where my old church is today. Mountain View!
He even referenced what sounded like a wonderful book out of print. I need to find it.
The things you will learn if you simply give yourself the opportunity to talk.
Afterward, I stopped at a shopping center for some dog food. Standing at a rack of throat lozenges, a man commented about the season, which started a journey of connection. I had met his dad and had not heard he had passed on. We shared some history. I have his business card. Who knows where this connection will lead!??!
If you are not going to ask your question, you should at least be ready to comment if asked yourself!
Connections are a two-way street. Give and take. Sometimes you slow down on the giving because the other person has so much to say. Isn’t that why you’re interested? Quit trying to talk and listen. You’ll learn more that way!
Here’s a key. You don’t have to remember everything! Every time I reread a book, it’s like taking a fresh look at the story’s revelation. That’s the way it is with those I talk with! We can do this again in a few years. It’ll feel new all over again!
A Commitment To Chat
You follow someone who can be considered “famous.” What are they like? Why do you like them?
What would you like to know if you could ask them a question?
My favorite author is James Michener… What would I like to know? Would my question sound hokey? How could we get on the same page of a story, and would I find him more interesting than the books he wrote? Could it be that everything I want to know is already found in a book somewhere? Probably. But there’s a way to ask questions that bring a fresh look at the story, art, history, or even personality.
Imagine if you could sit across the Last Supper Table with Jesus. You have his ear and attention. What would you want to know? Is it Friday yet? Whoa! Wait! He was arrested Thursday night and went through all his trials, including the cross on a Friday. Maybe you need to find a better question!
The problem is that prayer is a pathway where we present our needs and ask for answers. We share the problems we are dealing with and expect solutions. None want to be in the “fix-it” mode with every conversation. Even if that’s our personality.
We need to learn the art of conversation.
This made me think about the pathway of Prayer. We do it when in need, but it’s our best way to converse with God. As one singer says, we’re just “Talking to Jesus.” (I’m listening to this right now.) We should be willing to make it a two-way street if it’s a conversation we need. Boy. Don’t we need a conversation about now?
Conversation is a Two-Way Street
Prayer is talking to Jesus.
But as with any conversation,
it’s best to realize
it’s a two-way street.
How do we make it better?
Stop talking and listen!
With your whole heart, mind, and soul!
Listen to what the Spirit says.
What answers do you find within
That resounds to your need.
That’s not the only place we find
Answers to the questions of life.
Flip open that dusty book we call a Bible,
and let the Word speak to you.
Read the stories on its pages.
Nothing new, just the sage of the ages.
The result of understanding
What has happened before
Can be accomplished again
Let’s talk, listen, and live through it.
~Michael Gurley