Before you read this, please rest assured I’m not talking about you. Nor am I talking about me. There are general thoughts I’ve learned through a generation of time.
At times, we’ve all been wounded. From family to the corporate world, from friends to strangers on the street. The words and the moment hurt us. But keep this in mind.
It’s hard to live with hurt, but it’s better to live despite the hurt we all feel.
What am I talking about? From families to friends, co-workers to neighbors, strangers to those we’ve learned to despise, it’s a far better thing to do than we have ever done before.
Keep living despite the hurt.
Is it possible? Yes. Many of us have learned how to “let it go.” Many graveyards are filled with unresolved issues and feelings. Still, if you want to do it well, don’t share the hurt with anyone else lest you create a new pathway of hurt.
“I have learned now that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt,
those who keep silence hurt more.”
~C. S. Lewis
Yes. You may hurt by keeping quiet, but you don’t give someone else a path of being equally hurt when you talk about it.
But the key to hurt is that we cannot be hurt unless we give someone permission to hurt us. (Gandhi) It does not matter what you bear, but how you bear it. (Seneca)
If you research the subject, you will see thousands of writers and philosophers knew the pain that hurt causes. They write, and write, and write about it constantly. Hurt is a big problem!
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32 NKJV
Just because you are dealing with hurt, do not think you’re anything special! We are all unique, and the dynamics of our lives are sometimes weird. It’s a fact of life. If you breathe, you can be hurt!
Living Despite the Hurt: Just because you are dealing with hurt, do not think you're anything special! We are all unique, and the dynamics of our lives are sometimes weird. It's a fact of life. If you breathe, you can be hurt! Click To TweetHurt Comes In Many Categories
If we consider the word and the moment we feel the pain, the concept of “hurt” comes in many categories. I was hurt when someone ran a stop sign, and I T-boned their car. Barely two years ago, my sister was killed when someone ran a stop sign and T-boned her car. Though the body may hurt, the magnitude of hurt by those merely wounded can barely be comprehended when we consider the wounds of the heart, soul, and mind. Her death wounded many, and we still feel the pain. My hurt may stay with me for a while, but it does not bother you that my injury is lingering.
A prophecy about Jesus gives us a hint of how he must have felt in his fleshly being and Godly persona.
And one will say to him, ‘What are these wounds between your arms?’
Then he will answer, ‘Those with which I was wounded in the house of my friends.’
Zechariah 13:6 NKJV
I despise the saying that is a cop-out: “You always hurt the one you love.” Then it’s piled on. Hurt on top of hurt, and the pithy saying gives you an exit to not feel guilty about what you have caused.
But what if you have the assurance that you can do your mission work and not be hurt by what you are called to do?
Now the Lord spoke to Paul in the night by a vision,
“Do not be afraid, but speak, and do not keep silent;
for I am with you, and no one will attack you to hurt you;
for I have many people in this city.”
And he continued there a year and six months, teaching the word of God among them.
Acts 18:9-11 NKJV
How Do You Deal With Hurt?
I have one avenue that has worked for me repeatedly. Forgive. Forget. Move On.
Do you know what’s the toughest? Forgetting. My memories are there of all the hurts I’ve ever felt and given. The thought of it never goes away. And as with most memories, it will continue to fester the more you think about it.
Forgiving is easier. As I hope to be forgiven, I will ignore the wounds and my hurt feelings.
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.
But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Colossians 3:12-17 NKJV
The one that gets a lot of traction with me is Moving On. What’s done is done, and I’m not going to let it control how I continue to live life in my future. It would be best to have an exit strategy to move on from the hurt. Make it a quick move, as in ripping away a bandaid. Or, as slow as molasses, let the pain linger. My favorite? Turn my back and change directions.
One More Thought
Jesus knew impetuous Peter and understood how he would react to the challenges tossed at his feet. On the night of the trial, three times, Peter denied Jesus. Upon hearing the Rooster crow (must have been close to dawn), Peter flees into the night, weeping bitterly (Matthew 26:75)
Peter may not remember that he held the “keys to the kingdom” when he defined Jesus as the Messiah. I’m sure he remembers all the personal hurts when he said and did something wrong. In the same chapter where he’s acknowledged for his revelation, he is also spoken to harshly.
But He turned and said to Peter,
“Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me,
for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.”
Matthew 16:23 NKJV
This brings me to a long-held thought. God must know how to forgive so much better than I. When we hurt Him, there’s a long-range view of life where God understands us better than we do ourselves. In the same writing of the Lord’s Prayer (where we learn about forgiveness), Jesus adds some poignant words.
“For if you forgive men their trespasses,
your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men their trespasses,
neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV
Since we are to love the sinner, but hate the sin, we understand that God can love us, even when he will not forgive our trespasses (sin). It is the trespass that separates us from God.