From Birth to the GraveFrom Birth to the Grave

Growing up, I think I first noticed the concept of growing old when I was a teenager. It’s the time I sort of inked my grandparents image in my mind. They were nearly the age I am today, and they aged ever more rapidly into those memories of their final years.

Actors, singers, personalities… They are all image conscious. It’s their marketplace, along with their talent, that pays them the big bucks. Some age gracefully, and others, well, you would never recognize them now what they were back then.

Should that matter? Maybe. It depends on you. If you can look into their lives and recognize the person, and not the image, then you can allow them their present day looks.

Consider athelets and soldiers. They are constantly training for their responsible arenas. As they retire, their path slows, and their aging becomes more apparent. No longer can they keep the pace.

Does it matter? Maybe to them more than us.

We must accept that growing old is as natural as eating, drinking, and breathing. It happens. Gray hair, untoned muscles, aches, pains… Everything and anything you could name, well, they happen!

There’s something else that makes me think this through. As the world around us speeeds past our aging life, I realize I’m not so connected to the skills, talents and latest fad. There’s nothing to connect me to what the future holds, at least, not with all this “new fangled” balderdash and tomfoolery!

Technology speeds into the future. Wait! How do I access my keypunch card data files? Literally, I find myself yearning for an old car that has no computer whatsoever! Air bags, seat restraintns, plastic dash boards, and safety features! Be Gone! How do I access those boxes of cassette tapes in the garage?

Here’s My Thought Today

Aging happens from the moment of conception. Only, we do not recognize it until we hit a point that we take it into consideration. Or, until we reach a point where we start noticing the aging population around us.

I’ve been home to Texas four times over the past 12 months. Each time I could see dad aging faster than the few months previously. Maybe I noticed it more since I was away, but others who were closer shared with me that he was slowing down real fast… Slowing fast… Hmmm.

But this time, with death at the door, it was sad to see how fast he was slipping away. I can look at other relatives and friends and see they are slowly aging, but when cancer and tragedy combines with advanced age, it’s just more noticeable.

My father-in-law sped into his last years with asbestosis. This affected everything because it began with his ability to breath.

In fact, if you think about it, aging and disease ravages the ability to age with grace. My younger year indiscretions are catching up to me. Knee surgery. Hips hurting. Eyes wearing out. Hearing running away faster than you can imagine! But my brain is still sharp, fingers fast on the keyboard, and my driving skills are still there. My ability to love and enjoy others are still kicking!

But one day…

We all reach this time when we start noticing these new limitations. Where’s that ageless wonder drug that will keep me young and full of vitality? They are advertised everywhere, but are they effective? More than likely, a few decades ago, they would have been pedaled from the back of a trader who went from town to town.

Snake Oil Salesman!

Tonics. Potions. Wonder Drugs! Snake oil sales will be with us for a long, long, (did I say long?) time!

Since I’m talking about the images in my mind of those older than me, I’m thinking of mom and dad. Though my memories of them are vague (until all 4 of us were born), I have this memory of them that comes from their wedding picture.

Mom and Dad, Wedding Day, 03/27/1954
Mom and Dad, Wedding Day, 03/27/1954

Since I was born nearly 10 months later, these are the kind of memories that are mine for the past 65+ years. Of course, I’ve watched them age, just as they’ve watched me age. The last picture I have of all of us goes back to August, 2019, when I flew down and we all met for a good ol’ baseball game.

Last Family Picture, August 2019
Last Family Picture, August 2019

Carpe Diem

There is a poem from the 1600’s, that speaks to us about taking full advantage of the time we have before us. Right now! Seize the Day!

To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time” is a poem written by English Cavalier poet Robert Herrick in the 17th century. The poem is in the genre of carpe diem, Latin for seize the day. It goes as follows:

To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time

Gather ye Rose-buds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles to day,
To morrow will be dying.

The glorious Lamp of Heaven, the Sun,
The higher he’s a getting;
The sooner will his Race be run,
And neerer he’s to Setting.

That Age is best, which is the first,
When Youth and Blood are warmer;
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times, still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time;
And while ye may, go marry:
For having lost but once your prime,
You may forever tarry.


It may not fit my thought exactly, but consider this. As you age, seize the day and make the most of it. There will come a time when the labored breath will slowly give way to whispered sounds, and then gone.

One Last Thought

This came to me as I sat back, fresh cup of coffee in my hand, thinking about all those who go before us. Most of the time, of the couple you think about, one goes first, and the other follows later.

One gets to do all the heavy lifting of the partners last days…but who will be there for the one who has no one.

This weighs heavy on my spirit this morning. Who will step up and help the aging? If not a spouse, then who? If not the daughter who is gone too soon, then who?

If not you, then who? If not now, when?” ~Hillel, first-century Jewish scholar Click To Tweet

Mom caught me in dad’s chair, with his friendly dog, sitting with me as she did with dad…someone commented, “You look like your dad!” Great compliment! Thanks!

By Michael Gurley

Making Sense of Life, One Thought at a Time!