It has come up several times in my life. Folks that are close to me and getting close to their ending have an opportunity to write out their wishes for a Memorial or Home Going service. This is probably different than a Last Will and Testament as it will document in the present what this one particular event will be like, and not the distribution of your estate.
A Memorial, to me, is different than a Funeral where you are striving to help the audience come to grips with the finality of death, even to the point of considering their own status of life. A Memorial should be a history of Life, whether celebratory or memorialized like a documentary, it should bring everyone to a good place in their memory.
Both require answers to questions where you are probably one of the best to decide long before it is needed what the tone of your Memorial will be like.
What are your accomplishments? Milestones? What does your career speak to your successes of life? What song? Who sings? Where? In a building or by the graveside, or at some favorite gathering place? Who will eulogize? Favorite scripture? Poem? Who will pray? Who will provide comfort? What kind of celebration do you expect will be given and enjoyed? Who will be there?
Now. If you have the time to lay this out in advance then it will make the job of the planner much easier. But if it comes suddenly then, in my thinking, all bets are off as to what that last memory will be like.
In my life, I have handled memorial services on the fly where not one person had a good memory of the deceased. Other times there are too many good memories and you have to sort through the ones to focus everyone on a good and common impact. I’ve helped planned memorials, from large to small, happy to sad, expected, and not expected. I’ve been around suicides, murders, terminal illness, and sudden passings where everyone was shocked.
So. This morning. In response to an email question of the same concept, I asked myself,
“What do I want my memorial to say about me?”
Now. Do not overreact… It’s years and years away! I’ve prayed for 65 years of marriage and that’s still 21+ years away! But between now and then I have a great opportunity to lay out my life so it should be easy for someone to answer this question even if I’ve not planned the event!
I hope that I’ve been thought of as a good pastor, although reality says for every good thought there are those who think, “No way!” A good spouse, yes, definitely I want to hear my bride say that I’ve been the right person for her! And my kids, siblings, and parents. I want my friends to be able to say that I was dependable and there when needed. I would hope that my heritage will include a good source of writings that will impact the future in a positive way. Blogs. Sermons. Lessons. Books. I want to be thought of as a shepherd, leader, and follower. A protector of the helpless and less fortunate. A believer in my God who has kept me safe throughout my life, regardless of the negative times that come my way.
The way social and cultural reforms are sweeping our world, it is my hope that my connection to that part of life is considered clean, uncluttered and thoughtful of others. I’m not so interested in what others will think in the future as the world changes, because what may be considered normal and acceptable today can turn on a dime as quickly as the sun rises on a new day. I am interested in praying for my life to line up in such a spiritual way that the future can note my history lines up with the precepts of the Word of God.
Have I made mistakes along the way? Sure. Will I make more in the future? Most definitely.
Regardless. Give me a chance to right the wrongs so that my Memorial will be one that those fateful words are spoken, “Well done…though Good and Faithful servant!” (Matthew 25:21-23) By my bride. My children. My siblings. My parents. My family. My friends. My church. And most definitely, by my God…
Here’s the case for most of us. We have time to write a good finish to our lives so that the Memorial will state our case to history in the best light. Why don’t you start writing your memorial with an end in mind, and a destination that you will be happy to have arrived at? Get Writing!