It’s not a journal; I’m not into that process.
Before long, the bookshelf will be filled with written thoughts
And I don’t want to read them ever again…
Except…
If they are digital, then I’m ready to search,
Find the memory, dust it off, refresh the experience,
Write about it, and store it away.
Until some other future date.
I say that to say this,
Anniversary dates are becoming more frequent.
Though birthdays and marriage anniversaries are normal,
I’ve been documenting death dates.
My calendar is filling up.
Five years ago today, my only sister was killed.
Car accident. Not her fault. But the other party was deemed not at fault.
Even though she was looking for a phone, and ran through a Stop Sign.
I blame the times, the laws, and the start of C-19.
It took nearly two years for her case to be heard by a Grand Jury.
No Billed…
What’s a brother to do?
I then watched my dad giving up on cancer treatment.
Four months later, nearly to the day, he’s gone.
89, and 10 weeks from his 90th Birthday.
We remembered his life, then his marriage anniversary, and finally, his birthday
In that brief quarter of time.
Mom lost her daughter and husband in this short segment,
Life for her changed dramatically. Nearly overnight.
Gone was companionship and that feeling of support.
Can I say it like this?
If you lose a partner of 66 years, you also lose your balance.
Today. Five years later. Mom is 89 herself.
Whoever said life was fair?
The rain? Just and unjust, so Jesus said.
Build better for the bad weather days, so Jesus taught.
From five years ago…
Death. Memories. Pandemic. More memories.
Shut down’s. Shortages. Isolation. Grief. Separation.
There have been too many failures during these past five years.
Here’s how my mind works.
In between the memory of the deaths of two really important people
I will turn 70.
On the clock of time, I’m just a shy, nearly 20 years younger
Then mom is now, and dad was then.
At my sister’s last birthday of this year,
She aged into my age when I learned of her death.
September 23, 2019.
This is why I write.
For myself.
No pen and paper journal left to be unfolded,
But thoughts of my blog, originally called,
Algorithms of Life.
Thank you for reading.
Please share with others.
It helps me get my book written!
(Below, you may find other topics similar to this one. Please read on!)