Dreams, phantom thoughts, hearing others, but not listening well nor digging it out brings us to the point of not knowing what we think we know very well.
I’m reminded of someone saying something to me that shocked my sensibilities. It’s immaterial who said what, but I was concerned that this person would have even gone down this pathway. Now, these decades later, I wonder if it was that person’s viewpoint or my lack of understanding. Regardless, it created a rift that was never mended.
We all have this problem.
We hear, but we are not sure because we do not investigate at the moment. Likewise, we read and learn something but are unsure what we think we know because we fail to study the words. Or the backstory. We get caught up in the moment, and the noise of life drowns out our comprehension.
We communicate like this all the time!
This happened to me yesterday. It’s all my fault, physiologically speaking. My hearing is suspect, and background noise is the enemy. I try to read lips to get the gist of a phrase or thought, but that’s an abysmal failure most of the time.
Communication is Not One-sided.
Authentic communication is a path like a tidal force where the moon’s gravity on the earth’s rotation causes water to move in and out—learning to communicate means striving to deliver a clear message but accepting feedback from those who did not get it. Then, we try again to adjust the message to a different frame of reference. Eventually, the message is delivered successfully. Maybe. We hope.
You will not know the results of your communication until the information shared is used. Are the results there?
My flight instructor, Wes Ballard (1982), told me he had three methods of instruction on just about anything I needed to learn. If those failed, he had other instructors who had different teaching methods. He would help me understand the lesson. That was his job.
This is the job of communication. It cannot be a one-way street unless we are a dictator and don’t care about the hearers.
It’s going on in my state (Washington) that a new law was enacted that rewrote how Police could respond to calls when physical force may be used. Hence, to not go through a decertification process, police departments across the state changed their focus. They backed away from some situations. The attorney general’s office responded and finally acknowledged House Bill 1310 was confusing.
Perhaps this is how many laws get enacted. They are knee-jerk reactions to a situation, but they hamstring everyone, including protecting the innocent from the criminal.
Dialogue is Two-Way
Come, let us reason together. (Isaiah 1:18) This is the problem with most of us. We don’t know how to figure our way through a situation. It’s not negotiation where common ground is found. Someone always feels like they’ve lost something. There are set guidelines and rules for living that have nothing to do with what I want out of life when it comes to living for God. But when I reason it out with God, I see life in a better light.
Joseph Joubert said something powerful that has stayed with me for decades. In varying forms, but to the fact of these words, I’ve learned how to communicate differently.
When I teach, I learn twice.
Hence, constantly preparing to present gives me a better foundation on what I am attempting to say, and can it be adequately understood. The better prepared I am? Well, I will still find those who do not understand. Dialogue helps me understand them, and myself, better.
Communication is a two-way crowded street with many distractions and barriers to understanding.
We must do better!