It’s often a tough thing to do. Admit where you are. But until you do, everything you focus on will be from a false narrative or floundering position. For some (not gender-specific here), it isn’t easy taking ownership of status. The light at the end of the tunnel seems brighter than it is, perhaps, or you don’t know what it feels like to be drowning in your situation.
During the past four weeks, I’ve had to analyze a few things and restate where I am to move forward. From some close and personal deaths, no new money is coming in each month as the retiring years approach, and add to that a heat range unbearable for my neck of the woods! I finally realized I’m getting older, and I must review what that looks like as I age forward.
I want more land, money, time, and better mobility!
Admitting where you are will change how you look forward! Take into account those “Uh-oh, surprise! Surprise! Surprise!” You are only prepared for what your forward motion can sustain if all things remain the same. Drop a few unexpected expenses or challenges into the mix, then you M-U-S-T redefine your present to understand your future.
Taking ownership of your present situation should mean you are aware of what effects life has thrown your way. You may not be in control, but your definitely aware!
Chatting with someone out of state, a recent cancer diagnosis changed their perspective of life as the pandemic comes to an end. Where many of us are celebrating “mask-free” living, their world is narrowing to treatments that make you wonder how the final prognosis will sound.
The Loads of Stress
For me, it began in 2019, on September 23… A tragic car accident took away my only sister, the youngest of four siblings. Freshly retired, enjoying her grands, she’s gone. A sad little cemetery in the country. I visited her there early last year as the pandemic news was starting to roll out. Her location tells me all I need to know. Loneliness. I’ve traveled to just about every place she’s lived, even went back to Alaska for her birthday 5 years ago and baked her a cake…
Step 1. She’s gone. Grieving isn’t real, but it’s a part of overcoming the tragic suddenness.
Then, cancer was already taking its toll, but with Teresa there for him, dad soldiered on. Her death seemed to take the wind out of his sails. I had one last singing with him online and then showed up at their place just hours before he breathed his last. I felt like he was waiting on me…
Step 2. He’s gone. Grieving was easier because he had lived a long life, and we all know that death is our ultimate state. Still, grieving at his home-going service put salve on the open wounds.
Add to all of this the pandemic. Church reduced to online, travel is basically non-existent, and my bride just retired. Push through this to the re-opening of our state on June 30, 2021, and you would think that the battle’s over and now it’s time for a victory march. Not just yet…
Step 3. The pandemic hit all of us harder than we ever imagined. Some have quit, some have passed, and still others are just now seeing the effect.
Stressors Never End
Notice, I called them “steps” and not “strikes.” Were this a baseball game then we’d be out!
Life is not a game with a known ending in mind like innings or quarters. Rather, it’s a never ending load of stress that can push too many people into a corner they feel they will never survive.
Not me. Not my style. Definitely now how I accept life. I’m a “forward-thinking” kind of person, always looking out for those things that can produce a setback. Finding the silver lining in dark clouds, that’ show I think!
Then, a car accident. Unexpectedly, someone pulls out in front of me, and there’s nothing I can do. Not only am I involved, but I’m also reliving my sister’s accident with me at the wheel. No one else in the car, thankfully. In a blink of an eye, the results could have been totally different. I call my bride. She’s just a mile away. I’m feeling the stress, and it’s like the shock is settling on my shoulders, pushing me down. Can I remain standing? Walk? Get through this? That’s my plan.
It’s not time to buy a replacement car, so add that kink into the timing! We were enjoying life with no car payments! Another kink! They quit making the dream car we’ve enjoyed! Kink. It feels like the chain is twisting and every link is tightening the noose.
Steps 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8…
Maybe it’s time to get a job… or draw social security before we’re ready. Sell the house, downsize, but the cost of housing has boomed (Step 9), and the price of building materials has skyrocketed! (Step 10)
When will it every stop?!!?
Then, we started having problems with the septic system at our house…analysis and repair this afternoon. CaChing!
Balance Stress with De-stressors
Along the way, there are destressing moments and blessings, but the overall stress level is higher than I like it to be. To lighten the load, you start looking for de-stressors. Vacation is not until December, but that will help! It’s planned and on the books! My accident case is being resolved. My sister’s case is going to the grand jury, but who knows how that will turn out. With the state reopening, maybe my church family will start showing back up as we hope and pray for – I’m hungry to see my church family!
I’ve learned that “tractor time” is my release time. Or driving down familiar lanes mindlessly or looking for new roads. “Where does that one go?” The future of vacation will mean more road trips, and I’m okay with sitting behind the wheel looking for new horizons. Even the price of fuel will not add too much stress. Maybe? Shorter trips?
Though they bring some stress, new “pandemic German Shepherds” have brought some stress relievers. Except, we will have puppies this month, and that adds some stress on top of everything. I think they will balance out.
There are other places of de-stressor moments that could happen, but considering the source, I’m not so sure they ever will.
Balance Sheet
Since this is not a complete recording of all the stresses, trust me when I say – you t’ain’t seen nothing yet! And the “hit’s just keeping on coming!” But so do the victories! Clearly, they outweigh the negatives!
An old song says something like this, “Count your blessings name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God has done! Count your blessings! Name them one by one. Count your many blessings see what God has done!”
My balance sheet (negatives and positives) will always be weighted on the side with abundant blessings from God. Here are a few de-stressors that should rebalance my columns into black and far from the red.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.
(Psalms 139:17-18 NKJV)
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD,
thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
(Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV)
These two scriptures are often enough to get me through the darkness. How about you? Do you have any scriptures that support you during your times of stress? Care to share?