It has been said, way too often, “You get to choose your friends, but you are stuck with family.” True statement! I have some really great friends that have been closer to me than a brother. Yes. There’s a scripture that describes this. Yet, when I take the time to learn my family, I find a treasure trove of connection that is seldom recognized. Why? I’m glad you asked!
There’s something about knowing all the warts and unsavory characteristics of those we have grown up with. Feelings and emotions are raw, sitting at the dinner table, or living with hand-me-downs, or even having to share the same room. Jealousy. Bickering. Favorites.
We have been guilty of quickly dismissing our relations. But friends are the same way.
We are all like this! Whether it’s done to us, or by us, we struggle with having our issues on display to the world!
There’s A Key Here
When you read history, the in-fighting between the royals on other continents is disgusting. We want to know the details! Scandal rocks the castle, and we chortle at their discomfort. Wait. Wait. We even choose sides in their public pain!
Listen. It just doesn’t happen to them and there, it happens to me, and here! They make TV Reality Shows about the nastiness that happens within select groupings and you wonder that anyone else is sane! Contestants are rejected – kicked off, exit stage left, tears, recriminations… We get a kick out of the broadcasters sharing our woes and inadequacies, all for someone to make a dollar from someone else’s misery.
Wait. There are even shows where there is only one winner out of very talented people. Popularity contests, just like the playground at school, or the favored at home. Who wins? It’s not just talent. It’s the “possibility” of the marketers looking to make some big money with the almighty dollar!
I don’t have a solution. Truth speaks louder than fiction. None of us knows how to handle this. Still, there must be a solution somewhere.
Relationship Is A Key
Relationships are forged at the common table of life. Growing up, we learn that we all share the same roof, or family name, or the genetic identity markers that defines our relatives. We are marked by our personality quirks, inadequacies, likes and dislikes, even physical features. Most likely, nothing can be done about this. Who we are is not revealed all at once, it comes from time and situations.
We learn to be who we are by our own genetic makeup, the history that tells our tale, and our personal struggles. Some are apt to go one way, and others, well, the other way. Skirmishes and battles, wins and losses, good days and bad days. All define who we are as time flies out the window.
On top of it all, everyone else seems to want to tell us how we should be, act, speak, think, or be, or not to be. Hmmm. Shakespeare?
Sometimes, no, most times it’s the innocents that get hit by the crossfire and bare the wounds into their own adulthood. Ricochet! Unintentional. Drive-boys.
You get the picture.
Finding Balance Is A Key
We never stop growing up, even when we approach those ending years of life. Nor do we ever have it our treasure completely sown up and saved. There is balance to be found between what we want, what they can do, and how to strike a chord of acceptance between the distances.
I listened to someone wanting badly for things to go their way, but willing to let it be (Yes…Beatles song!). Times are not always right for every decision to be the winner. There are situations where you must give in, so someone else can make their own choice. Rightly, or wrongly. It will be their decision. “I told you so. I told you so.” You cannot rhythm and rhyme your way to making them feel bad when they face failure. You help pick up the pieces. Again. Hoping against hope a lesson has been learned.
Side Note
When I travel by plane, and there’s nothing to occupy time, I often resort to some music videos I’ve downloaded through the years by people that sing songs I like! I have an eclectic taste and that’s a tale for another day.
Yesterday, a long 5-hour flight caught me listening, watching, and occupying my senses while I did not research and writing.
Sara Bareilles sings a song and these lyrics popped up.
Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything? [Click for Video]
Who made you king to decide what I feel, how I think, or control how I want to live my life? We tossed tea in a harbor and fired a shot of rebellion when that happened to us as a nation. This happens even today with our government, and family connections. Divorces. Silent treatments. Disowning. Someday, a headstone will mark the end of the discussion.
Here’s My Thought Today
Jesus was ministering. It was his call, duty, lot in life, or even his own desire. You paint his picture for him from your perspective. There came a day that his family wanted him for a moment. How does Jesus handle it?
This is often the key we miss. At some point, our calling in life requires us to abandon family for the sake of the mission. Spiritual? Perhaps. Human nature? Definitely. When you read this snippet of scripture, you do not find whether Jesus beckoned their call, but he did teach a principle that we all understand.
“For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.”
Matthew 12:50 (KJV)
If we’ve lived any time on earth we all know this thought. The job, responsibility, or even a calling no one else understands, they all beckon us to force our attention elsewhere.
I have a deep suspicion after Jesus spoke this, he stepped outside of his responsibility to deal with family. In the end, he gave John the command to care for his mother, and his mother to care for John. (John 19:26-27)
Treasure your family while you can. You are rich because you have them. Warts. Moles. And all the other disgusting characteristics. Let them be them, but pray and hope their will be a better tomorrow.
Treasures are not just things of monetary values. Rather, our greatest treasures are in people – family, friends, and even strangers.
Really enjoyed this.