Emotions and Feelings

What happens when you confuse Emotions and Feelings?

It is easy to react with our feelings and, depending on the results, blame it on emotions. It is seemingly easier to react with our emotions and blame it on our feelings.

But if you think about it, these are actually two separate parts of our lives. They may interact, but they are different. You can have one without the other, but when you mingle their meanings then it gets confusing.

Example: I feel _________ (happy, love, satisfied, etc.). Any of these can produce emotional responses of ________ (tears, laughter, or even sadness.) It depends on the circumstances.

Each keyword can be used for many purposes, but when we cry at a time of sadness, then we often feel everyone should respond the same way. That’s not the case. We are all unique and we react differently than others.

It’s a double whammy to try and control feelings at the same time as your emotional response tends to overwhelm your ability to process.

This is a key point. We are often overwhelmed by our emotions, that it’s hard to sort out our feelings. In that crucial moment where our emotions are getting the better part of us, if you force control over them, then you lose that moment of letting yourself live through the response of the moment.

Think It Through

I remember a time of laughing so hard that I feel out of the kitchen chair, breathless! It was during a family game time and is the only time I remember laughter ruling the moment.

Later in life, I remember laughing at a Funniest Video segment, and I doubled over in mirth and immediately passed out and fell to the floor. Right out of my recliner!

There was a time when my daughter could control her laughter when I would tell her not to laugh. Then, counting her ribs she would remain stoic. Give her permission to laugh and your finger could not even get close to her side!

The past few months have forced me to examine my emotional response to death. It’s been weird as the losses stacked up around me. I refuse to lose control of my emotions. Though it does not mean I don’t feel the sorrow and loss of the moment, I have found my tears to be around the corner of privacy. My emotional response is often a private response.

Moving from Alaska, we brought our three dogs and over a 5-year period we had to put them to sleep. Each had tumors in their lungs, and as sickness forced their life to nothing, then we made a decision. It was the hardest thing to do. Tears were not held back as we stroked and loved on them as they took their last breath. We buried them close-by and every time I mow, I’m fully aware of their place in my heart.

Faking It?

Immediately I think of those who know how to fake their tears and emotional outbursts. Some call them crocodile tears. Hypocritical actions often to elicit responses. Charlatans? Maybe. Just be aware that not everyone is crying real tears!

Think about actors who can turn on the tears at the drop of a hat. This has always made me suspicious. I envisioned someone waving sliced onion smells just off-camera and them allowing their eyes to water as they recite their dialogue.

If they can control the spout, then so can I. Well. Maybe.

A humorous note. In an interview with Major Garrett, Arthur Brooks shared some wisdom he gleaned from the Dali Lama. When struggling with a particular feeling about someone or something, he was told, “Fake it…!”

This is something I think we are all too good at, at one time or another! Just saying!

Why We Respond The Way We Do?

Why was this harder? Maybe it was related to making the decisions we had to make. I’m not sure. It’s something I’m thinking through.

I do know it has nothing to do with the closeness, but it has something to do with the choices.

When events come out of left-field and we are blindsided by the moment, then our emotions can overwhelm us in that moment. The shock of the moment. We are caught off-guard and we respond from our emotional condition.

On the other hand, when it seems the inevitable is moving down the path, then we prepare ourselves for the event. Though each produces negative feelings, our emotional responses can be controlled.

Two scriptural thoughts come to mind that sort of prove my point.

• Those who sow in tears Shall reap in joy. He who continually goes forth weeping, Bearing seed for sowing, Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, Bringing his sheaves with him. (Psalms 126:5-6 NKJV)
• “For the Lord GOD will help Me; Therefore I will not be disgraced; Therefore I have set My face like a flint, And I know that I will not be ashamed. He is near who justifies Me; Who will contend with Me? Let us stand together. Who is My adversary? Let him come near Me. (Isaiah 50:7-8 NKJV)

Sowing and reaping is hard work, but tears will produce joy. But tears do not always produce joy, it’s really the reason for them that helps each of us. But when I know tough times are coming, then I can be like the prophet and set my face like flint (a stone).

Just One More Thought

I do not want to be guilty of not understanding you in your moment of response. Through the years I’ve learned that everyone will respond differently. Since I’m not walking in your shoes, then who am I to control your reactions?

Give me time to learn and I’ll share with you as I go down this road of life.

A song from my younger life came to mind.

One More River to Cross
(Words and Music by Bud Chambers)

I’ve had a lot of troubles and trials in my little life span
When I’m standing alone and the battle gets hard, I always do the best I can
I’ve crossed a million valleys and shed a million tears
But when I come to the River of Jordan, Hallelujah, then I’ll have no fear (repeat)

Chorus
One more river to cross, one more mountain to climb
One more valley that I’ve gotta go thru then I’m leaving my troubles behind
One more battle with the devil, then I know he’ll understand
I’m going thru with Jesus, Hallelujah, Holding to His nail-scarred hand, holding to His nail-scarred hand

There’s been a lot of people talking ‘bout me since I’ve walked this narrow way
But that’s just another little valley, I came thru it when I prayed
I’ve climbed a lot of high mountains and crossed a lot of little streams
But when I see ol’ Jordan cold and dark, that’ll be the last for me (repeat)