Show and Tell

Perhaps it’s only the older I get that I realize how important it is to think about others more than I think about myself. It has been my personality to give in to someone’s emotion or thought process, because, it is their “process” and not their final outcome.

So, when someone says something that I’m sure they don’t mean, I am willing to let it lie low until they’ve processed through the situation. Someone is showing and telling you how they feel. At the moment. Give them time and it will mature to its final version.

This is a learned trait. You have to train yourself to have a non-volatile personality! Equally, you have to walk the same road when giving feedback. You must process what you receive before you return your response!

We lose the opportunity, to be honest when someone passes on or moves out of our life. Suddenly, it’s too late to say what you mean. Add to this thought the obverse of my statement. I want to mean what I say.

I don’t want my words to be empty, lacking true or honesty. Yes, I may parse my words with statements that are instructive and not sounding like a mallet striking something hard. However, I do not want them to be coded and you only grasp the meaning if you are conversant with the code!

Let’s get real about showing and telling how we feel.

Pick On Love

Go ahead. Let’s pick on the concept of Love. Too often we confuse this with “lust”, yet true love is something not only heard but also seen.

The one disciple who wrote most about Love was John. This is a deep thought but I want to keep it purposefully shallow for a moment. After the Apostle Paul, no one authored more “books” than did John. His gospel, three letters, and Revelations. From John, we learn more about the concept of Love, and this gets picked up by Paul as he communicates to the Gentiles.

Translated into English, Love comes from several Greek words that have multiple levels of meaning. From brotherly (Philio) love, affection, erotic or even the most documented New Testament word of Agape – the sacrificial love of Christ for the church.

So. When I tell someone I love them, from which source of words and actions do I draw from for it to have correct meaning?

I love you. No. Really. I do. Love you, I mean. Here. Let me hug you.
See! I really do love you.
Here let me open the door for you.
See! That proves my love!
Write to me. Call me. I’m there for you!
See! Get the point? I really do love you!

We often wait for the proof of the words to finally understand if someone really does love us. Why? We’ve been fooled too many times and when we needed someone the most they never showed up.

The Apostle John says it strongly like this:

Dear children, we must show love through actions that are sincere, not through empty words. (1 John 3:18 GW)

Actions Are Louder Than Words

So. Today. Instead of simply saying, “I love you”, why don’t you step out on your love and prove it to someone.

“Did I offer peace today?
Did I bring a smile to someone’s face?
Did I say words of healing?
Did I let go of my anger and resentment?
Did I forgive?
Did I love?
These are the real questions.
I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.”
~Henri Nouwen

Showing love is often better than saying words of love. But understanding that someone “does” love needs to be a trained comprehension because “some do louder than words.” In other words, some just “do” and never “say”. We need to comprehend this!