It’s a difficult task for most of us, admit to a wrong and own up to whatever led us to where we are. Perhaps the bigger problem is learning how to make it right. You know! Undo a Wrong and Make it Right!
How do you make a wrong right? Especially when others say things like, oh, don’t worry about it. It all works out in the end! Nobody saw it. No one is really hurt by it. Let’s just keep moving forward! Forgedaboutit!!!
When the words flow! And the lie grows bigger than the little white you may have intended… How do you pull it back? Like a politician or a contrite sinner? Double-speak? Or own up to it.
When you turn down a street or end up in the wrong lane for the direction you needed to go… How do you successfully make a U-Turn…
Identifying The Wrong
This is a difficult task. Identifying the wrong. It’s almost like saying, “I didn’t know what was right, to begin with!” Or, “I wasn’t sure which way to go so I went this way and of course, it’s the wrong way!”
We’ve grown used to feeling like that “wrong” makes us a smaller person in the eyes of others. But I disagree. We live in a vast world of options and not every direction we could go is the correct way to go. Most times we go on our gut or intuition, and the facts may not support us. Way too often we make choices based on an incomplete view of the options.
There are many who think you cannot pull back from the brink of a huge mistake. It was Solomon who spoke to the way we choose to do something based on what seems “right”.
There is a way that seems right to a man,
but its end is the way to death.
(Proverbs 14:12 ESV)
Wrongs come even when it feels right!
It’s like knowing the answer to a quiz and going with your feelings about your knowledge base. You choose. Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe not. Only the grader will know for certain, and you’ll be graded on your intuition.
Could it be you were not prepared with all the facts and had to go on your feelings?
Admitting The Wrong
This is not only a leadership issue, but it is also a personal daily life issue! Not to make this a “gender” conversation, and I’m sure the author of this quote was not trying to speak to only a single gender, but think about it like this:
A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes,
smart enough to profit from them,
and strong enough to correct them.
~John C. Maxwell
The Old Testament way of looking at all the history shows the up and down of right and wrong choices. However, in the New Testament, Paul gives us hope for a new and better direction. He’s not speaking to a single group of people, but to the entire span of human history from his point forward!
Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.
God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability,
but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape,
that you may be able to endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:12-13 ESV
There are probably a dozen things you should know, but let me share with you what I think are three most practical and positional ways to work yourself out of a wrong, and into a right.
Know the correct direction
Driving to Alaska from Texas many times, it seems I always get turned around in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada… Since this is on the North America continent, and you basically know which way to go, one would think that following the road signs would point you subtly in the right direction.
After all, Alaska in North and West of Houston! Right?
Nearly every time in Edmonton, my internal gyroscope and compass demand me to follow that NW trend and go that way, but the road signs and maps point me due East… Not West, or even with a Northerly slant! East!!!
If you are following a mapping system, there are times you have to take your head out of the equation and simply follow directions. Most people lost in the woods keep making large circles and end up in the place they started…
You need to know the right direction! If you do not know, then you need to know to ask! And you need to know who to ask! Not any ol’ person will do… Someone who knows the way!
Be Honest about your mistake
Admitting that you are wrong is often the first step to making something right!
There is a current situation about a woman in Spokane, WA, who has been living her “white” life as a “black” person. When finally confronted by a reporter and a camera, she stumbled in her answers. It was obvious she had the “deer in headlight” look and could not quickly, or accurately, respond.
When caught, admit quickly… If not publicly, then at least mentally…
Honesty and truthfulness should begin with yourself!
Admitting your mistakes is an act of self-honesty and truthfulness! Be quick about admitting you were wrong and work quickly on making things right! Share on XAdmitting your mistakes is an act of self-honesty and truthfulness! Be quick about admitting you were wrong and work quickly on making things right!
This lady spent the weekend dodging questions from all over, not just at home. Finally, after a tough three day weekend, her personal answers started making her position known.
Politicians seem to have a language of their own, and never seem to know how to own up to a mistake. Not being honest generally causes the pit you started to be dug deeper by yourself, and those who are confronting.
Know what must be done next
I was behind a driver the other day, obviously lost, distracted (talking on a phone) and driving erratically. Weaving, braking, speeding up… A dangerous position for all concerned. Finally, this driver made a decision to act, and simply turned across three lanes of traffic into a parking lot – all without one single glance at the traffic surrounding him. It was a blessing that he hit no one, and no one was hurt in his transaction. But we all wanted to tell him what he should do next! Right? GET OFF THE ROAD!
Most times, the next step must be done succinctly and safely, and not in a reactionary way that will only create more problems!
When learning to fly, and right before my flight exam, my instructor had me put on a hood and close my eyes. With my hands and feet off the controls, he would proceed to fly the plane erratically. Up. Down. Sideways. Fast adjustments. All with the intent of leaving me disoriented. Then, he would pass control of the plane to me. Without seeing my horizon, I must depend upon what the instruments were telling me and successfully return the plane to normal flying conditions.
Multiple practice attempts at this finally helped me realize the sequence of events required to return to normal flying.
Sometimes you can never return to normal conditions. Your new normal requires you to adjust to a new reality. A successful U-Turn might seem to be the required move, but your wrong actions may have left a path of devastation. You may not be able to return to “normal”… But headed the right direction is always the way we need to think about where we are going when we are wrong…
Here’s my thought today.
Thinking through my own life, and with perfect 20/20 vision, I can historically see the wrong choices I’ve made. Equally, I can see the “fixes” that I have done to repair or ignore the wrong. Lessons Learned!
I’ve written and spoken it often, but this is my compass thought:
If you always do what you’ve always done,
you’ll always get what you always gotten.
What’s your prevailing thought? Solomon, again, says it like this in my paraphrased version: You are what you think! (Proverbs 23:7) Essentially, everything we telegraph to the world comes from what we have allowed our mind to construe. Maybe the biggest mistake you need to correct is how you think about something! Go ahead. Give it a try!