Changing Gears

I have this memory of sitting next to my dad while he drove, making a left turn, and seemingly, with conscious thought and effort while making the turn, he shifted gears. I watched him time and again do the same thing every time.

Yes. It was a standard, 3-speed shift. 3 on the Tree, as we called it back then. 1964 Ford Galaxie Custom. 4 Door. White, with Red interior!

I’ve called Mom and Dad, they don’t remember. I’ve asked my brother, Vaughn because we used to practice driving that car in the driveway. It’s where we learned to drive a standard… I’m sure of it! Forward. Reverse. Shifting. Clutching. All within 100 feet or so.

Are we sure it was a Standard 3 on the tree shift? Dad’s 1968 Dodge Pickup was. I’m sure the 1961 Ford Falcon was.

Wait… This just arriving… Texted response coming in… Vaughn agrees with me! Standard. Automatic was an expensive option back then! That’s probably why we had a white car and a six-cylinder engine! Economical purchase!

My thought this morning revolved around my shifting habits based upon the way my dad shifted. I remember going through similar turns and not shifting in the turn, and then doing it to prove I could, and then not doing it to prove I didn’t need to.

It’s weird where your mind hangs out for a while, and where the thought takes you if you will just do some free association exercises.

In many ways, I’m just like my parents, and their parents before them. I have habits, thinking processes, skills, and interests that follow the path they set from the paths they followed. From what I eat, and even what I think is normal to eat, to what I like to do with our spare time. From Dad, I know that I enjoy watching a good old fashioned baseball game. From Mom, I know that reading is an enjoyable escape. From both of them, my yearn for the open road!

Think about it. A lot of our habits come from something far in our past that we don’t even recognize…until we stop to think about it.

I remember the story of a young lady learning to cook her first major holiday meal.
She remembers her mom trimming off the ends of a ham, and began wondering why.
So, she called her mom with the question, and her mom said,
“I’m not sure. My mom always did it.”
Fortunately, the grandmother was still alive and able to connect, so the question was posed to her.
Why? The ham was bigger than the pan she had!

Something as simple as this becomes the habit that gets passed forward. Why do we do all that we do? Someone, back there, started it and it simply carries forward. Often with no rhyme or reason. It’s a scary thing to change what has always been done, but if you think about it, if we never changed then we would never have computers! Or electricity. Or a space program!

As with any generational time, we are all responsible for our own path. Genetically we are not exactly like our parents. Why? We’re a combination of two different paths – paternal and maternal. We are uniquely us. Our ‘being’ is a merged person.

Here’s my thought today. There are some patterns we can do nothing about because they are part and parcel who we are at the gene level. Epigenetic research points us to new ways of thinking about the choices foisted on us, and the ones we choose to make for ourselves, but the true focus seems to be that we are naturally who we are by the lives that lived before us.

There are many things we can change if we make a new destination the focus. Yes. We will make some bad choices and have to pay for our mistakes. But that’s the learning curve. Somehow we will make the right choices, at the right time, and end up with a totally new path and habit to share with the future.

But here’s the rub. Sometimes worse choices are made and you start the next generation down a wayward path.

The bible gives us two thoughts about this from the Old Testament.

First, in the books of Moses, the Pentateuch, God describes what happens with the sins of the present generation. The Father’s Sins.

‘The LORD is longsuffering and abundant in mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression; but He by no means clears the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation.’
(Numbers 14:18 NKJV) (Exodus 20:5, 34:7, Deuternomy 5:9)

We do not read about this in later writings, but the die is cast, the mold is set, and the God says this is the case.

But, as with all generational sins, habits, and attitudes, we do have the ability to change what we are by what we choose to do. Jesus tells all that labor to come unto him and he will give them rest! (Matthew 11:28) He’s telling them that the Gospel (good news) that he preaches can be the “rest” that Isaiah spoke of in one of my favorite scriptures in the Old Testament.

For with stammering lips and another tongue He will speak to this people, To whom He said, “This is the rest with which You may cause the weary to rest,” And, “This is the refreshing”; Yet they would not hear.
(Isaiah 28:11-12 NKJV)

What I’m saying, in my own bumbling way, there is a change that can happen but it only comes from a willing person who will focus on the change. Why? Consider this. If you always think negative, then your outlook of negativity will be projected onto future generations. Your offspring will always think this is normal. Negative. But if you change to positive, then you affect the future in a more positive way.

The same is true about a lot of our choices. Poverty. Relationships. Finances. Health choices. We are, and become, what we are presented at the start of our life. This is just the way we are, how we live, and what we will end up like!

Second thought: Again, back in the Old Testament, God gives us a better outlook on the choices we could make. He says it like this:

“Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments;
(Deuteronomy 7:9 NKJV)

Start down a wayward path and not change who you are in light of Godly principles, then you will affect the next generation negatively for several generations to come! If you choose God at the early stages of life, then, when you get into the mode of producing the generations that follow, then you will have given them the opportunities of God’s blessings for a thousand generations!

Call it a “leg up” or a stepping stone, or even that silver lining in the clouds of their future. Regardless, if the future generations stay in the path then there are blessings they receive because of choices you make!

Here’s the flip side perspective. Wait until later in life to choose God, then your following generations will have only your poor choices impacting them for 3-4 generations to come. Keep God first and foremost early on, then you have at least laid the foundation for their success, even though they will have to live with their own personal choices.

Maybe it’s time to think about Changing Gears… Sooner, rather than later. Start the change for better choices. Make the steps to get out of the rut you are in. Look for the changes that better the outcome! There may be some things you are simply stuck with, but I bet there are things that can make the ending sweeter than you ever thought possible!