The Power of “Oh…”

We’ve all said it, heard it and even used it over and again. But have you ever thought about what’s lost in translation? Oh… Get it?

Someone recently asked me a question, expecting a supply to satisfy their need, and when I had nothing to give to their satisfaction, the response was, “Oh…okay.”

There’s a depth of unknown feelings in that simple phrase. “Oh...”. If you listen close enough and read between the lines you can probably find these thoughts percolating on their back burner. [Definition]

• Disappointment – I asked and you didn’t have, and I’m so disappointed in you and your lack of supplying my need.
• Frustration – I cannot believe you don’t have my answer!
• Anger – I’m so mad I could spit nails!
• Lost – I’m not sure what I should ask next, or where I should go to get the answer. What to do? What to do? What to do?????
• Joy – I’m so excited to hear the answer!

To the which, I respond in my own reflective and loud voice and hope YOU read between MY lines!

• Disappointment – Why did you think I would even care enough to have an answer for a question that I could care less about you asking expecting me to have a response to you?
• Frustration – I”m so tired of you asking, knowing I will not have your answer.
• Anger – I’m so mad I could spit nails and connect all the boards together to frame a house…in seconds!
• Lost – I’m so tired of you asking the same ol’ thing and I’m probably never going to listen to anything you have to say. Ever. Again. So. There!
• Joy – I’m so excited I may never hear from you again!

Teamwork, even relationships, face this often, especially when expectations are not properly laid out, or when no one buys into the focus and says I’ll help you with your needs. We normally add the caveat – I expect a similar response in return!

If you are wanting something from others in the future, then perhaps laying the groundwork for buy-in, follow through, and success means that you are communicating your needs long before you need them. Your inability to plan far enough into the future does not force me to swim through deep waters simply to meet your needs from your lack of planning.

No. A team, or relationship, not properly set into place and pace will have their past disappointments worn like badges of honors on their sleeves for everyone to see. That proverbial block on the shoulder is just waiting for something to touch off a scene. There is no humor. No common goal. No planning. It’s all just acting and reacting.

Here’s where I’m thinking today. You get what you give… Yep. BNI (Business Network International) had it right when their motto states, “Givers Gain”. You give to get in return. When you do not give, don’t expect to get. When you are not a giver, then you will never receive. Or, if you do receive it will probably not be the best product possible!

This works both directions. We learn it with lessons from the bible. This goes back hundreds and thousands of years, but follow the logic of Jesus and you find him telling us to be givers with no real thought of what comes back our way.

Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”
(Luke 6:38 NKJV)

Now. I know this to be true, especially in a spiritual sense, but as we’ve mostly learned in life, you can be a giver, and give away the farm, but you will never receive back the fullness of what you have given.

I know a man who is stingy, and never gives, but always takes. This man will take his last breath in life with no one surrounding his bedside except for those rejoicing that he is gone!

I know a man who is continually broke because he always gives away everything he has and has become all things to all men… In other words, nothing I have is only mine. What do you need? Let me provide. Here’ take my coat! Oh. Do you want to sue me? Well, then, “Here’s my cloke, also! (Matthew 5:38-42)

Of the two, who do you want to be most like?

Through my life, I’ve been one to give. Constantly. My time. Effort. Money. I’m seldom selfish, even when it cost me peace and quiet. For the most part, I never think about what I may receive of equal value from you when I may be in need myself. But there are always those who give more than I ever thought possible! So. I’m only sitting in the middle. Some give more, and others give less.

But, perhaps, I’ve reached a point where I only want to slip away into the dark and quiet. I do not want to know that others will simply say, “Oh…” Why? Because I’ll ask myself the question, “What do you mean by “oh…”? Is there no care? Concern? Will you not reach out? Help? Will you not say goodbye? Or the proverbial response, “I’m Praying for you.”

You see. “Oh…” has power!

Hidden, and often unrealized, the power of “oh” is found in the power of a spotlight looking to find out why. “Oh” should make you want to look beyond the question and answer. A man who cares enough about someone else will not let that be the last response they ever give. “Oh…” A friend will look past the negative and hope to find some positive. A team player will want to help no matter that there may never be a response in some future endeavor. A relationship simply should care no matter how the other party feels.

A few years ago I purposefully stepped back from an arena of life and no one in that circle checked in on me to see where I was. They kept asking for things, but not one time did they check in to see what was going on in my life. If they happen to see me, “Hey, I’ve missed you.” or something similar was often the response, but no one called or wrote. When I said hello, it was often responded to by, “You never call me anymore.” True. But it’s a two-way street. Et tu?

One side rabbit trail of this thought. This is why we miss so many long after they are gone. We are not focusing on the answers as to “where are they” or “when was the last time I spoke with them”. Of course, we’re not focusing on the question either.

Here’s my bottom line. I’ve learned who my team is, and which relationships are important. That’s my focus. That’s my “tribe”, as in the modern vernacular of “team”. That’s where my energy is focused. Oh…