Let’s Keep It Real!

Or, better yet… first, let’s GET real!

Recently, a conversation included the concept of people saying they want to be a “realist”. I’m not sure what others mean it to be, but the dictionary simply tells me that a realist is “a person who accepts a situation as it is and is prepared to deal with it accordingly.” Maybe something is wrong with the word, or the definition. Other than certain industries, I thought we lived in a world of realism!

Too real? Is anything “too real?” Probably not. Then the obverse must be true. Too false? Is anything “too false?” Well, except for the fantasy of Hollywood, comic books, graphic novels, and all other fiction stories! Oh. And lest we forget Reality TV shows…they are a total scripted fake.

Then, I awoke for some reason, maybe my subconscious was dealing with something that my conscious mind had not even considered. It was a stark and terrifying thought that left me feeling like it’s “too real” and I don’t even want to think about it. So much for being a realist. Real or not, it kept me from getting back to sleep. Breakfast at 4 am anyone?

Do you remember the old Memorex commercials? (You only will know the reference if you are near my age!) Was it a real opera voice that shattered the glass, or was it a recording? Memorex was advertising that you could not tell the difference. Reality could simply be a master recording!

Have you tried that Virtual Reality (VR) apparatuses? You physically react to what the images reveal and you can get seasick on a roller coaster that does not even exist, or dodge that danger, or step over a fallen tree. All of it is fake, but you react as if it’s the reality!

Here’s my thought today. I want to be real. Life is not always perfect, sometimes it’s hideous and scary. How do you react when the only available options leave one gasping for clear and concrete directions where safety and security lies. And peace. Too many times of reaching the end of your rope and wondering “what’s next?” can make you an adrenalin junky, or someone content to live in a cave.

The internal agony of dealing with real and eternal situations, then worrying about waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop – well it’s enough to make one want to head for the hills!

How do we get over this?

For me, it’s not looking for constant peace and safety because Scripture tells us that Sudden Destruction will happen (1 Thessalonians 5:3) It’s not living like what we think an ostrich does with our head in the sand. The only thing protected may be the head but the rest of you is hanging out there in the danger zone! If your head is connected to the remainder of your body, then everything is in danger even if you choose to hide from it!

Then the realization hit me. Just a little while ago. We live in safety because we live with tension. Not the rip-roaring emotional state of snapping. Rather, it’s that constant tug-of-war we play with choices as we look for the next best step.

How do developers know who much weight a rope can take and not break? I’ve worked in a lab where steel was tested for the snapping point. The test scenarios must be similar to rope testing. Through hundreds and thousands of test scenarios in a lab, they chart exactly how much weight can be applied to the rope before it snaps. Add real-life scenarios like heat, cold, wet, dry, frayed, and age…all these elements test the possibility of “what’s too much”. Once that information is analyzed then the label can certify the results.

Imagine how much rope is purposefully snapped
just so you know how far you can go!

This testing concept applies to everything we use. How much heat till it melts? How much bend till it breaks? How steep a dive the airplane can take before its wing rip off? How much is too much?

Don’t get me started on the controlled car crash tests! I wonder how many billions of dollars have been purposefully crashed just so we can have safer cars? When I was growing up we had cars without seatbelts or airbags! And we rode in the back of the open pickup truck at highway speeds while sitting in lawn chairs!

It all sort of sounds like Goldilocks in the Bears domain. From a chair that is sized too big or too small; to a soup that is either too hot or cold; or a bed too big or too small.

Ah! Just right! My reality!

So, how do we learn to know what is just right between the extremes? Essentially, we learn to test our limits and find what works! Where is that sweet spot between the extremes? You can find it and it will be unique for you. How? Here’s a hint. Maybe you want to jot it down…

We allow tension to test our limits to know our tolerances.

We live life with tension all the time! We just need to know what to do with increased tension before we snap, bend or break! Then we learn how to back away from the extreme! That’s being a realist!

In investing, it’s called “risk tolerance” and every investor needs to know how they will respond to market conditions that may break the bank! Sometimes the weight does get to be too much and we snap. Something goes haywire in our mind, reality gets too close to destruction, and we start acting out.

I read a news report of a man who struggled with neighbors cutting branches from his tree that hung over the fence into their yard. He went berserk! His reaction was scary and he was arrested, but not before leaving an indelible impression on his neighbors family.

But, hiding in the sand, running from the problem, or even ignoring the potential problem is not living as a realist…

Remember all those fire drills you had in school? Well, working in downtown Houston high rises we had the same kind of fire drills except we knew they were coming. The piercing noise of the warning buzzer, flashing lights and then following the protocol to get to the stairwell for escape. They gave us fair warning of these drills. What did I do? Left early for lunch! Every time… Had a real life emergency happened I’m sure I would have responded well, but who knows? I never went through the testing.

Have you found a good way of dealing with all the stressors of your life? Care to share what your solution is? Where is your happy medium between the edges?

I fully realize that an escape hatch I use is taking a long quiet drive in my truck! Or get on my tractor and tackle a task that fully envelops my mind to something else. But not everyone has a truck, a road, a tractor or as a task.

I can tell you what doesn’t work! Trying to get back to sleep when the tension of life wakes you up and it feels like the lonely hills are the answer!

We’re all in this together. I’m pulling for you! (Does anyone know of this reference? Give me a shout out!)

I’m just saying…