Who is to blame for all the things that have happened to you…whether they be good or bad? It’s often easier to point fingers than it is to analyze the real problem. Forensically, we all struggle with digging out the truth. The bottom line. The deepest reason. Who is at fault for who I am.

You may look to your DNA, culture, birth order, country or any other explanation for defining who you are and why you are like you are, and it’s okay to understand these parameters, but in reality, you are who you are because of YOU!

Notice the hand with the pointing finger… how many fingers are pointed in the reverse direction? THREE… Perhaps you are trying to tell yourself the truth. You are responsible for all of your successes and failures in life!

From a recent video podcast, Darren Daily teaches it like this:

There are 3 ways you created the outcomes in your life.
1. By what you did
2. By what you didn’t do
3. By how you responded to what happened to you

In other words, you are a created being, and you have the ability to create your life, so the outcome of your life, your results, are totally up to you. It’s all based upon you – what you did do, didn’t do, and how you responded to what life threw at you!

Put up with the garbage around you, means you are no different than the trash and recycle center that all garbage trucks go to. You are accepting the garbage and it takes root in your mind and everything you produce will be garbage. (Garbage In, Garbage Out) Always think the negative, and you will only produce negative results. But focus on the positive, and the negative gets drowned out by your positive outlook on life.

If you are always seeing the negative around you, you will simply produce negative within yourself. You become what you invest in and ingest. Remember… Garbage In, Garbage Out! Share on X

If you are responsible for what you are, and what you do, and who you become, then there must be some control, accountability, vision, and goals that keep you focused forward to become the best you.

Here are a couple of points that I’ve found to be important for me. Maybe they will help you define your New You.

Expectations. Do you have any clue what you expect out of life? Your expectations direct your creative process. What you look for? You find. Where do you find your lost keys? The last place you looked! But you looked all over till you found them! The key (sic) is to know what to look for, and where to find it, how you will achieve it, and then, focus on the result! That sets the framework for achieving your expectations!

Of course, if your expectations are unreal, then you will fail to achieve them. Failing to even come close to what you expect to do will often lead to disappointments and a negative view of other outcomes. Reality check. Can you accomplish what you expect to achieve? Is it conceivable? What would it take, how will you do it, and can you achieve it?

Keep saying the negative about what you expect you will accomplish in life, then you will never have to worry about something positive coming along!

Thoughts are Things. Your thoughts activate you to think about things. I really think you can burn calories! So maybe this is a valuable exercise tool and you never knew it! You think about what you ingest, so control the input funnel and your mind will focus correctly! Cut the Fat, and that includes EVERYTHING that is a distraction to what you are here to do. Whether the thought process, or the action that your thoughts produce, control your thoughts for positive production!

Again, it’s what you think that often produces the results you see in your life. Always think you can’t, then you won’t. I remember this from an English class when we were learning how we use negatives in language to cancel each other out, I believe, but it makes sense on many levels.

Can’t never could do nothing.

Perhaps you need to set some parameters on how these thoughts fly into your mind, how you corral them, and which ones to let loose and which ones to hold onto.

Narrow your focus. I’m easily distracted by new baubles, yes, and like everyone else, I must bring into captivity every thought that leads me out of my focus. Hmmm. This almost sounds like Paul’s teaching to the Corinthians. (1 Corinthians 10:5) Someone once called me a Renaissance Man, meaning, I have so many interests it’s hard to nail down the one or two things I’m really good at. It’s almost as if you become the “jack of all” trades instead of the master of one.

I heard this the other day, “It’s not in my lane”. It’s almost like another saying, “It’s not in my wheelhouse.” Both essentially mean the same thing. Someone has found what is their focus in life and if it does not fit within the parameters they have established, then they do not get out of their lane of focus, or allow it into their cabin of execution. This does not mean you cannot change lanes, or include within as needed, but watching and understanding how additional items will affect your future keeps you wary of distractions.

Not everything you ever thought was necessary to accomplish must be done by you. Allowing others to focus on doing what they enjoy doing that helps you accomplish the Vision, shows the teamwork concept for a common goal. Share on X

Recognize Your Achievements. This is important, and I’m not good at it when I’m working by myself. Whether you choose to celebrate, or simply pat yourself on the back, you need to pause and realize that you have achieved a milestone, goal, or accomplished the near impossible.

If you are in a Team environment then recognizing achievements is “muy importante”! Teams need to celebrate their wins, individual achievements need to be applauded, and everyone must recognize these victories as important, even if it’s simply a slice of the whole pie.

As one guy puts it, “If there was not an end in sight, or a celebration of achievements at the end, I would probably never run another marathon!” It’s in our nature to celebrate! Some like to have big birthday celebrations, but I’m simply content to check the day on my calendar as having reached the end of an annual measurement, and then it’s time to focus on tomorrow!

Invest in Yourself. Perhaps the biggest issue many have is they lack the vision of what their value is worth and fail to invest in their biggest and best asset. Through the years I focus on investing time, energy and dollars to improve who I am, what I can accomplish, and steer my direction to accomplishing the vision of who I am. Sometimes this requires new skills, and I’ve re-invented myself a number of times through the years.

But this also means constantly surrounding yourself with things that improve who you are. This could easily mean some training that improves in subtle ways, are taking bold steps to prepare for a hurdle in the near future.

Only you can define where you are, where you want to go, and taking the necessary steps to reach that goal!

Finally. “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.” Change is important. Recognizing the failure of the position you inhabit, and the better way of looking at life around you, will produce more positive steps to become the You that your mother always hoped you would be!

By Michael Gurley

Making Sense of Life, One Thought at a Time!