Some people simply understand you better than others. They know how to push your buttons for a specific reaction. If they don’t know now, they are constantly testing new pathways into your response mechanism and to determine how to jump-start your response, throw the gear shift into overdrive, and get you to respond outrageously or to stew and simmer like a witches brew waiting to be used.
Think about a politician for a moment. They have to be thick skinned and understand how to control their reactions to every barb thrown their way. Presidential debates? Every one of them is working to set the other on fire so that it becomes stormy seas and viewers get to enjoy the fight! Remember the
I will never, nor do I want to think, that I could be a good politician. My reaction is in the moment, fresh, ready to push back as good as is sent my way.
~Michael Gurley (Me!)
Still, I understand that we can control how we respond to criticisms. For me, it’s analyzing the moment to formulate a generalized response, and then examine the critique in depth at a later time. “Tractor Time” is what I’ve come to call it. Get some mowing or digging time in, and my subconscious works it out and helps me understand the bigger picture.
But it’s that moment of time when your button is pushed – how do you handle it?
How do you handle criticisms? Maybe the issue is understanding how you will typically respond and preparing in advance how you will conduct yourself at the moment. Share on XWhen someone thinks they are in the “right” then they use words that will “tweak” another
Solomon understood this thousands of years ago.
A soft answer turns away wrath,
Solomon
But a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1, NKJV)
Another translation calls it a “gentle answer”. Get your viewpoint stated when it is needed, and temper your reaction to the incendiary words slipping into your ears.
I’ve learned, at times, this soft answer can be tempered with a “condescending” smile (not a smirk), but this often turns the speaker into an angry mob! All by themselves!
Other times, I ask for clarification of the word or criticism and over analyze the definition or petition and bring the calming waters of understanding to bear.
Still. There are times you just have to stand there and take what is thrown your way and be like Jesus. It was at his trial when two false accusers testified against him and the High Priest asked him to respond. But Jesus held his peace…. (Matthew 26:63). Sometimes you simply need to withhold your response and make your silence the best way to handle the negative words and thoughts being proclaimed.
The reality of the moment? You can be in control of your response! It often takes hard work to practice your response over and over until you learn to get it right!
How do you handle the moment when someone is attempting to “push your buttons”? It would be interesting to hear your reaction.