I was sitting in a visitation room for the Houston/Harris County Detention Center waiting for the time to visit someone who was being held. Those of you that know me will know who, but to all others, it matters little.
While waiting, and as is my custom, I began conversations with others around me, mentioning my experience of spending a night in the prison as a fund raiser for Crime Stoppers…a new prison needed “inmates” to try out procedures, I think. And the fact that my mom taught in the Texas Prison system the last 7-8 years of her teaching career…
Immediately a woman piped up. She knew all about the school system, and the unit I had spent a night in as she had a “wild side” of her younger life. “Who are you visiting today?” My son. He is following my same path. I eventually watched her son come to the bullet proof window, pick up the phone and begin to cry with his mom as they commiserated his situation.
Think about the old phrases we know. “The apple does not fall far from the tree.” “Like Father, Like Son” is actually a proverb found in scripture from a different Gender perspective – “Like mother, like daughter” (Ezekiel 16:44-45)
Someone queries, “I’m like my mom?” Immediately we all agree, but in their mind they want to be like their dad. Though attributed to Mark Twain, this could be understood by any adult looking back on their childhood.
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
I’ve pondered this the past few weeks. It seems like we all follow our parents path, one way or another, and all we have to do is watch our parents closely and we see what we could easily become. Looks. Voice. Mannerisms. Career. Choices. Habits. Interests.
Paul tells Timothy…follow my steps and do things like I’ve exampled to you. (Philippians 4:9). Elisha wants to mimic Elijah because Elijah casts a mantle on his shoulders. (1 Kings 19:19) Jesus speaks to his followers. “Come. I will make you fishers of men.” (Mark 1:17) Ruth tells Naomi, “Where you go. I go. Where you live. I live. Your people? My people. Your God? My God.” (Ruth 1:16)
It appears to my mind that you do not have to end up like so many generations before you. It is my thought that you can choose your own path, but watch out for who you decide to mirror. There are mentors and coaches that can help us become the best we are able to become. It may not be our parents, or even a close family member. Regardless, when you watch for someone to follow, try to understand where they are leading themselves before you step into their moccasins.
The writer of Hebrews sums it up like this:
Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith. 8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. (Hebrews 13:7-8 ESV)
Maybe the key is to find someone who has a long range ability and plan better than our own. Someone who has proven their longevity and positive path. Someone who has a proven track record of whatever it is that you think you want to be like.
Just remember, you can admire people differently at different stages of life, but you should really choose the path that has they greatest staying power, and the best result for the end of your life.
Though we constantly see the unveiling of a leaders path as not savory, remember, you too once did things you are not proud of. You once had habits that are condemned today and you are happy they no longer represent your present. Your language, choices and interests, today, do not represent that path of a teen trying to forge their future. History is not all good, nor bad. It’s viewed in light of today’s revelations and we determine whether we agree with past choices, or not.
Can you say you have found your walk. Now. Walk proudly. You can either stand by your results, or live with your excuses. What’s your choice?
And with this thought I look in the mirror… Who am I following? Who’s following me?
