At A Glance
Scientist, psychologist and a host of other professions who are in the know say we judge people more quickly than ever before. From milliseconds to 7 seconds, our brains are working in concert with our senses to judge the trustworthiness of a person, all the way to lasting impressions that are hard to reverse should more facts come available… One study suggests there are 3 factors we judge people, Morality, Socialbility and Competence. Which one do you think is most important? Click here to find out. If you dare! I do know there are times I take the anti-social hat out and wear it when I do not want to be disturbed!
There may be nothing we can do about someone’s preconceived ideas of who to trust, but there are many things we can do to simply be the best image of the true character that we want others to perceive.
Think of it like going to a job interview for the best possible career you could ever have. You start out presenting your view of a good impression and why you are the perfect fit for the open position.
Before you show up your resume has already laid the foundation, and then the way you walk, stand, greet and even sit in a chair… Is your face showing open, or guarded feelings? Do you smile with a grimace, or is it warm and inviting? Is your handshake just right, or is it too flimsy or too tight a grip? Do you make eye contact, or do you keep looking anywhere but the direction you should be focusing on?
At a glance, you are being pigeonholed into one category or another. The interviewer wonders if you will be a fit for the position and the other staff you will be working with!
Open your mouth to speak and the words flow into the interviewer’s computer-like mind and the quality of your words tells them even more about who you are. Articulate? Hmmm. Time will tell. The way you conduct yourself through all the tough questions and grilling, well, this is your time to change first impressions into better impressions that you hope to prove will be good lasting impressions!
Business Insider shares an article on making a good first impression in an interview. Want to read? Click here.
Remember that first special someone you wanted to ask out on a date? I remember 5th grade, Viola Cobb, Channelview, Texas. I was one of the many go-betweens in a grade school romance between Tommy and Rebecca. Notes were written by the two and passed to someone on the playground who would then pass it on until it landed in the other’s hand. Shy boy. Shy girl. Only when testing the waters of relationships, that is… But put the same two on a dodge-ball team? Well, they would be as aggressive as their roots allowed them to be!
Sometimes the real 'you' shows up and reveals who you have the potential to be. Who do you want to be? Share on XMaybe this is the real question. Who are you? Who do you want to be? What impression do you want to make on others? If someone has only seconds to glance your way, what do you want them to glean? What is your focused image to others?
Sometimes you are perceived by layers. Outer layers, like an onion, are the ways you present that protect the inner layers where the best of yourself lies. That’s what I think when I see the outlandish presentation people make to others. Hair. Jewelry. Clothing choices. Tattoos. I believe many are not trying to show their uniqueness as much as they are hiding something inside. They have created this outward persona that protects their identity.
If we only focus on the outside we may never find the inner person hiding at the deepest level.
Mostly, we wonder if they are worth the trouble! How much time will it take to uncover the real person? Do I have the time to invest? Are they any different than the first impression they are showing me right now?
Imagine the actor that gets a break and finally stars in some production and proves all those casting directors wrong. Imagine the author finally receiving an acceptance letter from a publisher after hundreds of rejections and becomes a best seller. Imagine, after hundreds of interviews someone finally looks deep and finds a true gem and helps them show forth their potential.
Hiding in plain view just hoping for the right opportunity!
Maybe we should all heed the words of Jesus in this quest to look beyond the first glance and look deeper into a person before we judge them.
“Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.” (John 7:24 NKJV)
Don’t look at that outward layer, when the time is right to dig deeper into someone’s countenance, do it right by looking at the whole person…
In fact, the teachings of Jesus first tells us to look at ourselves before we get into the mix of deciding anything about someone else.
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.“ (Matthew 7:1-5 NKJV)
Here’s my thought today. Though we judge others with a single glance that may only be milliseconds long, we should quit gauging the potential person by our first impressions of them. Why? We certainly do not want others doing the same to us, right? So. Let’s change the criteria of how we spend those first important seconds and start looking at how we can really get to know someone. There’s benefit in these words!