Influenced By Whom, or What?

Have you ever looked over your shoulder into your own personal history…… and asked, “Why did I do that?” “Why did I choose this direction?” “Why am I like this?”

There is an advantage in taking an adult view (as opposed to a childish view) backward, especially when you look for someone to thank, and not blame, for your current life. 

It’s almost like standing at the podium when presented with a prestigious award… Who do you want to thank, besides yourself, for doing what was required to receive such a reward?

Authors have a dedication page where they name someone who was instrumental in their writing process, or in getting them past a hurdle or even sending them down a particular path.

What early influencers
actually shaped you into the person you are today?

Someone trained, prodded, guided, forced or led. Something enticed, repulsed or showed you it could be had. Someone had a positive influence, but there are many who have had a negative influence. 

I’m particularly thankful of a high school principal that pointed me down a path where I eventually found my bride and my IT/Banking career. It took me a long time to recognize his influence and I never got to share with him before he was taken from us too early in life.

When you say you don’t like something, the question pops to my mind, “Why? What happened?” When you say that’s the way you are, then I really want to know what influenced you to be like this or that. When you act a certain way then I want to know what the influence was that allowed you this liberty.

Now. Before you think these thoughts are original with me, I’ve read and studied this a lot in myself, first, before I even think about it concerning you!

I will be the first to say that we easily allow faint memories of the past dictate how we live today. Even to the point of remembered “fake” events that are a conglomerate of multiple stories remembered and shared over again that reinforces our present take on a situation.

Not all memories are real… Just saying! It’s like fake news. Just because it’s purported as “news” doesn’t mean it’s real… Just because you remember something doesn’t necessarily say it happened exactly like the way you recall.

Years back I read a journal that stated recalled memories are repainted in light of current-day framework. Colors, smells, words, and even the event themselves are embellished and stored with updated nuances. If this is true, then every memory we have must be suspect as to the details, and even the general storyline. 

Anyone who knows me very long knows that I will not eat watermelon. I don’t even like it in the house. The smell and faint memories have set the stage for my present action. Though I was too young, I can paint the picture of why I will never eat watermelon from my parents reciting the event, so, I learned that a peanut butter sandwich was a great substitute! (It still is my favorite go-to snack!) I do remember family events where watermelon was sliced and distributed and I would go inside and make a peanut butter sandwich and stand a little off from everyone because I could not even stand the smell of it! I remember some road trips where a watermelon snack was the only reason we stopped at a roadside park. Uh oh… no PB&J. I remember having nothing while everyone else enjoyed something. That’s called reinforcement!

We have many influencers that do not involve people, but a situation!

Sometimes our greatest influencers are simply the confluence of many events that make us who we have allowed ourselves to become!

Again, if you are around me very long you know I despise hot weather and am totally content with living in cold climates, including my home where it’s often more comfortable to slip on a jacket than it is to heat up the house!

Where did this come from?

I don’t remember our first family camping trip except for the videos taken that show us in various locations when it seemed to be cold, but I’m sure that’s why I adapted to the cold weather so well! I remember first snowfalls of my younger years, and though we froze because we did not own gloves or proper coats, the joy of walking in the snow and on ice cold sidewalks, even barefooted, was pure heavenly joy.

Again. An influencer is not necessarily a person as much as it is a preference and that preference is often developed over time. But join the two together and you can comprehend what was a strong influencer and preference and it continues to influence you today!

• If there was ever a sport that defined us as kids of the ’60s, it was baseball. Backyards, Little League and even getting to see the Colt 45’s before there was an Astro’s team, dome, turf or not…. (Thanks, Dad!) Though I won second place in a Ford Punt, Pass and Kick contest at Joe Camp Ford in LaPorte, Texas, I never remember a football as something we kept around the house very much. It was always a glove, bat, and ball.
• If there was ever something taught to me as a love by example it was reading (Thanks, Mom!). Those early years of Hardy Boys, Dr. Seuss, and exploration of genre’s that left me in love with SciFi, Westerns, Spy Novels, and Adventure stories. They opened the world for me! When I discovered Historical Fiction it was like reading the Bible of a person, place or time period. The idea that someone could paint history with words has kept me enjoying the genre as much as any other!

In these two examples, the influencers were people and things. I surmise that sometimes we get to enjoy something new because we are doing it with someone we love and respect. And, I suspect, this is where we get our joy of something – because we are with someone who enjoys it themselves! The love of the event is passed through the love of the person.

Influencers were once influenced themselves by someone or something. I wonder who influenced dad to love going to baseball games, or mom spending so much time reading. Regardless, their influence passed to me and I understand myself better because of this. I hope I’ve passed the influence forward to the next generation, intact and full of fanciful enjoyment that gets passed even further afield.

If you know me very well you know I love to drive. A radio interview recently pointed out that the way of the auto will be disappearing by the time I reach an age where I will no longer be able to drive. Driverless cars and homes who no longer own an auto will only fill the future with transportation as simply something we must do, and not get to enjoy. In fact, another radio report this week spoke of building large downtown living centers in Seattle that will have no parking and residents will not be allowed to own a car at all! It will change how we experience travel.

Where did this love of driving come from?

I remember those powerful joyful moments when mom and dad would let us engage with them at the steering wheel – sitting in their laps, learning to shift, turn on the blinkers, watching for traffic around us, learning the rules of the road and the limit of the auto at an early age, then letting us have the wheel at appropriate times. A trip to church may include me getting to drive from my house to the city limits of Baytown without a Drivers License! That was about 12 miles of driving! Almost worth going to church just to get to drive! t was a grand time when I was first allowed to drive to the country store without an adult. I know I was 12 or 13, but, WOW! And those long cross-country trips. Today, I need no reason to get in my truck and simply drive for the joy of a trip, even if I’ve made it a hundred times. It’s part and parcel of who I am! With over 300,000 miles on a truck with an engine that can last 1 million miles, let’s just say the open road is my friend!

A few more influencers from my past define me as I am today.

• I remember learning how to swim like a fish and enjoying the water every chance I got, even if it was in lake or pond water where you could not see the bottom! At one swimming hole on a Sunday afternoon, we would skim the scum off the top of the water, toss sticks to the corners to chase off snakes, all to get the chance to swim.
• I remember taking to the woods every time the opportunity presented itself. With a trusted pocket knife, a BB gun, a walking stick, pocket full of unshelled pecans… Whatever the situation called for. Let’s go exploring!
• I remember wheeled adventures via bikes, go-cart, motorcycle… My cousin and I were allowed to take our Honda trail bikes down back roads and go all the way to Lake Houston long before we had drivers license… Easily a dozen miles away! Wouldn’t dream of letting kids do that today!
• I remember getting my “learners permit” license and motorcycle endorsement… and this opened the world for me to drive all over the place! I was even asked to help move friends to Wyoming as soon as I turned 16. That opened the door for more road trips! (Thanks, Buddy!)
• Along the way, I was introduced to some favored authors that I still enjoy reading and re-reading today. There is comfort in something old even while looking for something new to read and follow.
• And when I want to listen to music, then there are favored sounds that keep me anchored to the old tunes. I’m not much into exploring anything new. My kids know my range of hearing and style of listening, and every so often they point me to someone new to try out.

Maybe you should be like a spelunker and traverse your memories for those things of the past that have influenced you for today… and the future.

Now. Take that same powerful thinking process and ask the even deeper question…

Who am I influencing, and how do I influence them…