Accountability: What? (Audio)
I’ve re-thought this blog post out several times, deleted what I wrote, and started over. Again. Why? It’s somewhat of a complex writing process to get what I think and put it down in readable form.
Here goes another attempt!
Everything you do, and you promise to do it well, probably needs an accountability widget to help you stay on the path of success. This widget can warn you of drifting too far afield, or tell you are going too fast when you should be approaching the decision more slowly. This widget is your partner chosen for a particular time and event in your life. It may be there for a long period of time (as a mentor), or it may show up just for the immediate needs (like a wedding planner).
However, much of who we are, and what we do, influences many around us. The ripples of our decisions can strongly affect those who are not capable of higher waves but matter little to those who are stronger in the current of your choices.
What we’ve all learned is something well said by Steven Shallenberger:
“You steadily grow into becoming your best as you choose to be accountable and accept responsibility for improvement.” ~Steve Shallenberger
Isn’t this what we really want? Improvement. A measure of success higher than the last time we measured the results? Of course, part of the process includes choosing the best accountability partner to help you improve!
Who do you choose when you decide it’s time to lose weight and get in shape? Well. The answer should be easy. It’s someone who has joined you on a similar path or someone who has done it before. If they are in the same boat and you can work together, then as “iron sharpening iron” you prod each other to succeed. If they have done it before then perhaps they have words of wisdom to keep you pointed in the best direction!
Think about how better we act when we have someone we are accountable to!
Have you ever watched someone straighten up their poor driving habits when the police are in view? Put down that phone! Make sure the seatbelt is on! What’s the speed limit? That police car represents the law, and are probably the best accountability partner you can have to make good choices with your driving habits!
That internal check in public view of the police often disappears as quickly as they do. Whoa! Did I really just think that? Sure. We often look for the loopholes that allow us to escape the accountability partner factor and return to poor habit and bad choices!
In my various roles of life, I’ve never felt the need of keeping everything away from my bride. I’ve learned there are some things I never share because they are not needful in the relationship, but there are no secrets. In fact, we both know the passwords to each other’s social media accounts and can check on the activity of the other. At any time!
That’s accountability!
She’s earned that accountability, and so have I. That’s what keeps us successful. 42+ years of happy married life proves this works!
There must be trust in the accountability partner! So, I ask questions like, “Who do I trust enough to be accountable to?” and “Will they keep my confidences?”. That’s the “What” and the “Who” joined at the hip. We connect certain people to specific areas of accountability so that we can keep ourselves guided forward. It’s trusting the “who” to understand the “what” so those good decisions can be made.
Someone who does not understand the mechanics of good financial direction should not be my accountability partner on choosing where and how to invest my hard earned savings! They may be good at something else, and I may use them in another area, but chose the partner correctly!
Choose the “who” for the “what” and you can find success!
One last thought. Sometimes these accountability connections break. Terribly so. We’ve seen it time and again and struggle with the trust factor. Time does not heal all wounds. Some scars are worse than the first wounding. That’s when you need a “who” to trust with your “what” for the specific needs of the moment.
I tell many people, that accountability is often as easily found when you find someone you can trust and confide in. That may be your pastor but remember all the heavy loads they already carry. That may be a professional counselor who can help guide you through the minefield. Are they worth the money for you to improve?
Regardless, not all pastors and counselors are equipped to help you with your specific needs. Be responsible to yourself and find the best accountability partner you need for success.
That’s what any accountability will do! Point you to success, but you will still need to do the work yourself.