The Secret You

The Secret is out…there is another version of you in hiding!

I hesitate to write this because everyone will think I’m talking about them!

I’m not.

“You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you!” says Carly Simon in a song she simply knew someone would think the purpose of the put down was all about them.

Well. This is not about you! Truly. It’s not! Really. It’s not about you. It’s about me.

There is a hidden side of our personality that is often only discovered after spending close time with someone else. In other words, the “real you” comes out when different social fronts and private conversations are exercised. You test the limits of this other person. You find what makes them tick, and what will break them. If you are like me, you try to see just how far you can push before they snap. And just as often, you realize they may be doing the same to you!

What are their politics, leanings,
likes and dislikes, hopes, dreams, and heartaches?
How do you react?!!?

If you are wise, you make this an opportunity to learn something about yourself as well as something about the other person.

• You learn what your nature is when facing someone head-on.
• You learn how you react when they slide in behind you and you are momentarily sidetracked, or blindsided.
• You learn to feel new emotions as your own personality is revealed in the hot flash of a moment – temper, hatred and lust shadow your every move and thought.

And you think about this and dwell upon it and wonder why it is so!

In fact, as I watch people in the stores around my community, I realize that there is a side of them I do not know. That friendly face at the register has a completely different life, to wit, I may think the smile is nice, but it could be creepy! If only I knew the secret of their life, but I should be thankful “…I know nothing!” (Sargent Schultz – Hogan’s Heroes)

Do you remember the article discussing the way Vladimir Putin (President of Russia) walks? It had been noted there was something different about his gait, how he held his arms, and a host of folks was concerned! A team of neurologist summed it up like this: He has a gunslinger’s walk.

You know. Watchful, always sitting with their back to a safe corner, the door always in view for lurking strangers, and that ever-present stride that keeps their gun at the ready and the trigger finger ready to do damage. 
This should tell you something about Putin!

We judge by what we see, but we truly discern when we are in close quarters and the real person steps into view. We gauge the personality by those things we see, hear and analyze. But get into a long term and closer connection and the real “you” pops out.

“Why didn’t I see that to begin with?” or “I knew that!”  

Common feelings, true, especially when thinking about someone else. But to see your own self in light of these thoughts…well, the real you is often a surprise, even to yourself.

Similarly, I’ve learned there are some people you do not share your personal feelings, or even a fairly closely held secret, with. They never seem to know how to keep your confidence. Eventually, at least for me, I find I quit talking with them about anything other than the weather.

Here’s my thought today. There are way too many people you cannot have a heartfelt conversation with. Even the weather can be a dangerous subject. The “real you” pops out in the most unfortunate way!

Consider this familiar story from scripture. Genesis 27 is a good place to read.

The father was aging. His eyes were about gone.
It was easy for him to not know who he was talking to,
so that must mean his hearing was just about history.
It was about time for him to pass on the lineage of his line to his
firstborn son, a twin named Esau.
Esau was a hunter and out gathering game for his father’s potential last meal.
His wife favored the other twin, Jacob,
and wanted the heritage passed on to him.
After all, Jacob was born with his hand clutching his brother’s heel.
Hence the name Jacob, which means Supplanter, or Heel Catcher.
It seems like it was a common thought that Jacob would someday take over his elder brothers position.

A game of trickery ensued.
Instead of the wild game, the food came from their own herds.
Instead of a rough hairy hunting son, it was the other son with the cloak of his elder brother and the skins of a goat on his hands and around his neck.
It worked.
The father mistook the younger son as the eldest
and conferred the family blessing on him, leaving the eldest out in the cold.

Get this. The mother so loved the second son that she was willing to fool her husband and convince the second son that she would take the guilt of the deception upon her self. (Genesis 27:13)

The real you. It comes out and is studied over and again from the pages of history. You would have to simply know the back story and the future results, but this is the way things turn out for many people.

Those closest to you turn the quickest into something …
And you never saw coming.

There is a thin line between happiness and sadness, love and hate, peace and war, friend and enemy. Sometimes the real you shows up at the dealing of a deck of cards or dirty clothes left on the floor or a really important errand forgotten. Sometimes that surprise move by someone out of the blue floors you and you do not know how to respond.

Just that quickly. The real you shows up.

It’s happened to all of us. Out of the blue. There are times you are the chosen one, and then before you know it you are walking the back alleys looking for a place to sleep. Kicked to the curb and you don’t even understand why.

Okay. This sounds a little too heavy. Even for me. But the reality is that sometimes our real self shows up when we are stressed the most. I’ve learned to cut people slack for their strained moments and still be their friend after the trial has passed by.

But let the “real you” hang around permanently, well, let’s just say, your secret’s out and the alley’s over there!