You Are What You…

We have heard it a gazillion times…

You are what you _____________________.  

Then you get to fill in the blank with the word(s) that will complete the thought. “Eat” is a most common addition. Love, Invest, Ingest, Experience, Spend Time Doing, Think About, Focus On… This list could be endless.

In fact, this got me to thinking about all the endless possibilities of choices! Depending on who you are, where and what you are, there is absolutely no clear view of how you may “fill in the blank.”

The infinite has no ending of options,
but must start from somewhere, right? 

Start combining several something’s together and the list incrementally increases in a greater infinity of options. Eventually, you get to the point of not being able to add any more to your list, because you are a finite being in this present world. You have only so much time and energy to invest in all the avenues of your life. You had better choose wisely!

Your focus becomes tighter as you progress through your life.

When I was young, I started the “habit” of collecting stuff. Coin collecting is my first memory, and there are times I’m strongly focused on this and all my energy and spare time are spent enjoying this habit. But through the years I added more things to collect that I found interesting: pocket knives, cigarette lighters, bottle caps, books, cameras, maps… Why the ellipsis? (You know, the three dots! …) Why? It’s an endless list of things that grab my attention, maybe give me focus into a new direction, and can easily be ignored at the drop of a hat!

 Anything became something to collect.

Likewise, over the years I have unloaded some of my collections. Interests change. I change. My world changes.

Consider those “Westward Ho!” folks of the 1800s. From the east, they headed west. They filtered through their life’s collection and investment. They loaded only those things they thought necessary and only what would fit in their Conestoga wagons. In the beginning, they divested themselves of a lifetime of things they needed where they were at. As the way got tougher, and the journey longer, their wagon load changes as the trip demands a different focus. They unload those things they thought important in the beginning, but are not a weight in the present! Those collectibles are like the “weight” that hindered their forward progress. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

Think about it! We let what we own define us more than by who we are. Who are your? On the inside. The way you think. Your personality. Your focus. Your beliefs. Your responses. Your systems. The way you relate to the world around you. Your interactions, friends and even your family tree. How do you make friends, maintain friendships, and focus on being there when they need you?

What’s your worldview?

Do you realize everyone is different? While I should never judge anyone by who they are now, we all know that we are subject to change. That change can be huge. Positive, as well as negative.

Remember. It’s a two-way street. When you intersect their life, you must be aware of their imperfections, along with your own. Sometimes we clash. Sometimes, it’s simply not meant to be.

Slowly, the things I’ve collected, the friends I cherish, and the past that seems to be so important the older I get, may have nothing to do with who I am today, nor who I will be tomorrow. But they are “part and parcel” of my total self. Remember, however, what was once important, can easily be set aside as we adapt to the future. But what is life-affirming should be treasured!

I’ve watched many enter their later years. Slowly, they divest themselves of the things they once thought they could never separate from. Their world narrows. It becomes a smaller footprint. What we own must be maintained and that takes time, finances, energy, and another infinite list of possibilities. Those collectibles take up valuable real estate!

Is it worth it? Good question. Only you can answer what you are willing to define yourself by. As for me…

In my life, several things are immutable.

First, I will never divest myself of my walk with God. It is personal. It is me. It will always be. It would be my hope that it never grows dimmer as my age takes me further, rather, it is my hope that it keeps growing dearer and sweeter.

Second. Family is important! If I’ve learned anything through the years, you should not divest yourself of your family just because they are different than the present world you find yourself in. Your ancestry, DNA, and cultural background, they all define you, even if you are modifying who you are in the present and where you are headed in the future. Your family is yours, even with all warts, zits and ugly pieces and parts. You cannot undo them or push them away. Rather, embrace who you are by who they are!

Third. “Until death us do part”, strongly defines who I am, as in the relationship of my life with my bride! We will be one, for better or worse, until we are gone. Else, how would you undo a lifetime of commitment, memories, and love to the most important person in your world? Are we each different than who we are when we said, “I Do!”? You bet! We grow into who we now are, but we do it in a partnership that takes us further together than we would have ever been separate!

Fourth. Friends come and go. We realize this. I have friends from youth, career, church, neighbors and all sorts of connections. Who we thought of as a friend is really only an acquaintance. Friends do not need definitions, they simply are. As time progresses, some acquaintances will fall by the wayside for various reasons and are often replaced by someone new. The one thing I know, friends of my past are still there in my memories, even if not there in physical presence.

Finally. “I want to be the best me that me knows how.” (In response to a boss who wanted me to be more like him.) I am a work in progress. You will not change me, but as iron sharpens iron, you can help me be a better me. (Proverbs 27:17) My chosen path is my own and you will not influence me to step off my pathway unless you have the power to show me a better way! I’m pretty good at weeding out all those snake oil salesmen that have just what you need to fix what ails you!

I have my own destiny to fulfill.

Now, in the famous words of Buzz Lightyear,