Sputtering with Over Commitment: (Audio)
We’ve been to this feed trough way too many times. You know what it feels like. Your plate is full. The laundry list of things to get done is too many for a sane person. Then someone needs you and you say, “Sure. Why not.”
Why do we say yes?
The reasons are endless! We have no idea the cost of the request, or why our present schedule is something we easily trounce for the sake of others. Perhaps we do not respect ourselves, commitments or schedule and the impact it will have on other missed projects. Perhaps… Just perhaps it has nothing to do with any of this.
Maybe we are either simply, “Yes” people, or “No” people.
On a previous post, I noted that it was tough getting started and that too many times we sputter through our projects. A series of lurching to starts and stops, and for me, one of the main reasons why? I accept more than I can chew.
Even Frank Sinatra, in his rendition of My Way, commented on this!
“Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew when I bit off more than I could chew, but through it all, when there was doubt, I ate it up and spit it out! I faced it all and I stood tall;, and did it my way!”
We want our image to be someone who steps up to the plate and bats the ball out of the park!
Somewhere in our past, taught or caught, we were trained to think that this was what we did for every task that came our way. It was the way things were done. This is why I’m very cognizant of not asking others to do something I would not be willing to do myself, even if it means my task list is continually overwhelmed.
“We don’t want to be under-achievers (heaven forbid!), so we fill our schedules uncritically.” ~Dr. Richard Swenson
Key point. Uncritically… We take no thought of what the task is, we simply say yes and it slips into play. Why? We load up our To Do list with tasks that prove we can Do the work, Ride for the Brand, Sit tall in the saddle, Be Committed, and have that general “Can Do” attitude! Sir, Yes Sir! (And I was never in the military!)
But filling up our schedule to satisfy others is not the key! We will let ourselves down, and others will find they cannot depend on us! We must find a way to be in control of our own schedule and learn how to simply say, “No. Sorry. I can’t commit to this.”
Here’s my temporary solution, and I know it’s fraught with all kinds of problems.
Schedule your time, and be in control of your schedule.
As a husband, pastor, father, teacher, son, sibling and generally all around good guy, I know that my schedule is often subjected to others and their needs. We accept that another’s emergency will always impact our calendar.
I Remember – A driving vacation from Channelview, Texas, to Carlsbad Caverns and White Sands in New Mexico. About 1966. That would make me at least 12 years old. The engine started knocking, moaning and groaning. We coasted for many miles out of the Lincoln National Forest and mountain pass headed home and praying the engine would last. It didn’t! Stranded in West Texas, on the side of the road. Dad hitchhikes to a telephone, calls Uncle Walter, and they come to the rescue! Goodness, nearly 800 miles one way! Two cars and easily an 8-10 hour drive. Aunt Carol drives the family home, Dad and Uncle Walter slowly tow the 1964 Ford Custom Galaxie and show up half a day later.
Funerals, emergency hospital visits, and family crisis are always the bane to a controlled schedule of life! Learning to respond to them properly is so important. You do for others what you hope someone will do for you in your day of need. I suspect this one memory is proof that we know how to say “yes” when we are asked to help.
We dash to the hospitals in the middle of the night, we hang around the need for as long as it takes. We bend, twist and mutilate our planned lives for the need. Then we pick up the pieces, and attempt to reorder our lives, and reenter the normal living.
What’s the solution? Go with the flow. Live your life, but do work on scheduling your life, know your schedule and limits, and then go with the flow.
That’s life! (Again, Frank Sinatra…. Listen!)